This post brought to you by Flood Wood Care. All opinions are 100% mine.

Shabby Chic may not be the same rage as it was ten years ago. Ditto with marbleized and cracklified textures. I perfected the "textured" look. You know the one that feels slightly gritty? Carpenters would say, "Hey, nice tooth. Now what color is the finish coat?" The amazing effect was achieved through the wonderous technique called "Haste." How does one make "Haste?" It is being so eager to start on the project that you don't properly prep your surface. Leftover paint splotch that wouldn't come out? Check. A little sand? Check.

You won't want to trick ME into whitewashing your fence. Or would you?

The folks at Flood® Wood Care, who have been in the wood care, stripping, painting and staining business since 1841 – the fateful year that Abraham Lincoln initially broke off his engagement to Mary Todd, but of course reconsidered down the line – would frown on my free form techniques. It may work in a pinch, but may cause long term issues.They actually do have a product called SWF-Solid that allows the wood texture to show through, but of course doesn't have the grit. That is why Flood® has earned the reputation as "The Wood Care Specialist" and is the best solution for any summer wood care products. I have not. And am not.

Here are a few tips for decks, siding and even large surfaces like kitchen floors:

• Thoroghly clean the surface first.
  
• Stir the stain or paint frequently.
  
• If you can, mix all cans of the stain or paint to be used today. This way there is complete uniformity. You aren't getting a different effect from the can that was opened yesterday, or the one you accidentally dipped the purple paint brush in for just that second or too.
  
• Keep a sample piece of wood if you have one, as the actual wood and the "porosity" will play into the final result.
  
• When needing a break, don't stop in the middle of a board. Paint the entire board and stop then.
  
  
• For vertical surfaces, work from too to bottom, drippy.

Okay, Tom Sawyer, now whitewash that fence. I need to salvage it for a rustic kitchen table or pot rack!

This post brought to you by Whitney Farms. All opinions are 100% mine.

The four year old grandfather green onion that I previously mentioned is starting to flower, sprout, or whatever it is doing. It is surprising after multiple garden tillings, an almost near death by invasive pumpkin vines and being fully surrounded by corn that it has managed to survive this long. Even though it doesn't look beautiful right now, it is respectable considering its hard life.

Part of it might just be the organic soil

. I considered potting it in the fall to see what would happen but I never did. If you are looking for organic plant food and are just not sure where to start, Whitney Farms® has a formula available at many major retailers. RIght now, they are offering a $3.00 off coupon to young and old, black thumbs and green thumbs alike.

The second generation green onion, which is celebrating its second glorious year is in much better shape, as it was neve crowded and given a bit more attention. We'll see how grandfather does after this year of proper tending.

The best part about the green onions, or some folks might call them scallions, is the quick zip they add to a variety of meals. I have chopped my share and heavy handedly added them to fried rice and most recently, a veggie pizza. For a fried rice dish consisting of a base of 4 cups or rice (plus a bunch of other stuff), I add a full quarter cup of green onion, sometimes more.

If you are looking for a hardy plant with a tougher constitution compared to herbs, give a green onion plant a try. You won't be sorry, You may just be sorry that you didn't try it sooner. It adds just as much flavor to dishes with just a small amount of onion.

This post brought to you by Chili’s Grill & Bar. All opinions are 100% mine.

Trivia time: Cinco de Mayo celebrates Mexican independence from what country. It's a tricky one, huh? Answer at the bottom.

I once lived in a town that had a Chili's prominently placed, but I never went there. When I was on the road, there were many greasey spoons with more grease on the floor than on the spoon. As I peered out the window, my weary eyes and choking arteries spotted a very corporate and very backlit beacon of hope. Chili's. At last, consistency and no Scrapple or "Kitchen Sink Casserole" on the menu.

I quickly fell in love with the Molten Chocolate Cake. From my articles, you must think I must be a petite ballerina of 785 lbs with all of my cakes and chocolate cravies. In real life, I am more like Cookie Monster – post 2006 Cookie Monster – as Molten Chocolate Cake is "sometimes" food – rather than the original lovable dough snarfing machine that had no identity crisis.

Of course, Chili's isn't all about the cake. If you are wandering around far from home and don't know the low down of what Mexican restaurant is authentic and what is a greasey spoon with the word "Mexican" hastily painted over a name like "Dopey Joe's Burger Joint," you can belly up to the comfy padded booth with friends for a CoronaRita at Chili's.

What is a CoroniaRita? It's a Margarita, but with Coronita instead of Cointreu or Triple Sec along with Jose Cuervo Especial Tequila. If you are the ultra cool person that is driving, or just don't fancy one and want to be a joiner, you can always request a virgin Margarita while you hang out with your friends. I personally drew plenty of looks when my 18 year old self would sit with my virgin Margarita and my chocolate cake. You know…its the whole fruit goes with chocolate thing that would satisfy some but would revolt the delicate balance of others.

I would draw the same looks now. But it would be rubbernecking, speculating the whole non traditional "fruit (or at least red flavored mix) goes with chocolate thing"…rather than my….ahem…age.

You must be 21 years or older to drink alcoholic beverages and as always, please remember to drink responsibly.

Trivia Answer: The answer is NOBODY. El Grito de la Indepedencia, which celebrates emancipation from Spain is in September. On Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican army fought back the French in the Battle of Puebla. The French army retreated and left 6 years later, but the battle was a major victory and morale booster.

And you thought you had this one in the bag and said "Spain."

Just stumbling around www.freecatcher.com and a few other freebie sites, I found a few that I missed.

• Yogi Teas has an offer. You send a friend a special eCard, and they tell Yogi where to send the tea samples you’ve picked out for them. (On my free samples by mail 2012 list)
• Flag down the Ben N Jerry’s Frozen Yogurt Truck. It is appearing in locations on the East and West coast. Right now, it is both in Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. Stay tuned for stops in Boston, New York, Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington.
• Go to Peet’s Coffee website and send an invite to a friend. They and you will receive a coupon good for a free cup of coffee at Peet’s.
• May 8th is Free Cone Day at Hagen-Dazs. The offer is valid at their store locations only from 4-8:00 pm local time.
• If you are a seafaring diner, the Catfish Institute is offering a nifty recipe booklet on how to prepare catfish. It’s an ebook. Darn. I miss the old promotional recipe books.

Is there anything you have recently seen that is on your “must request” list?

This post brought to you by Scotts®. All opinions are 100% mine.

The frost has melted and the mutant onion emerges from its slumber. Nothing is particularly deformed or otherwordly about it. Rather, its midwestern stick-to-it-ive-ness has rallied once again, making this the fourth year this particular green onion plant has survived. Not every plant in the garden, as you can obvserve, has folks thinking about throwing a fifth birthday party for it next year.

Jealous? Well, don't be. While I am not quite sure how the grandfather onion has defied frost, a good potential choke out by corn one year and pumpkins another, you can give your florals and other garden loiterers a sure head start.

Miracle Gro is giving away samples of Expand ‘n Gro™. One lucky Snack Hound reader will get a smaple to try in their garden right now. Well, not right now. It is going to take a few days for you to win and get. Glad that I cleared that up.

The formula uses natural Coconut Coir to hold in moisture and sustain your favorite plants and vegetables, such as Audry II or the Trifids (you can look those up now). I really should name the onion at some point. The short fibers keep the bag small. When water is added, the mixture expands and stores hydration and nutrients for the plant. It is said that it produces 3x the vegetables and feeds up to 6 months.

To win:

1) Comment on this post and tell me what you are growing this year to either subject eager diners at your house to, or to chop off and stick in a vase.

2) For a second entry, Tweet this post to your friends. Be sure to come back here and leave a comment.

3) For a third entry, Comment and tell me what you think the heirloom green onion should be named.

Contest ends at 11:00 AM EST on April 30th, 2012. Contest is open to readers with mailing addresses in the United States and Canada.

Now, here is a little ditty about it for you to enjoy your popcorn with.

Why did they not make a Dippin’ Dots machine that you could use at home when I was smack dab in the middle of the Dippin’ Dots target demographic? While surely it will be purchased and put on the shelf right next to the Mighty Men and Monster Maker, this would have been the biggest trend if it was dreamt up during the the Dippin’s salad days of the mid 1980s and early 90s.

At any rate, apparently, you can use juices and soft drinks to make your own dots. The fine print is “REAL” Dippin’ Dots mix sold separately.  Really?  A standard Vanilla Ice Cream recipe will do, or so I have read at Geek Alerts. Amazon is hawking the pint sized machine that your kids will use for two hours, grow impatient that it takes 4 hours for the real ice cream to freeze if you go that route, and then that’s when the adults take over and use it every day and cherish it. (You might want to snag some Amazon promotional codes before you buy.)

If I were to be gifted with this, there is no telling what I might come up with. Hopefully I will have better luck than my Holly Hobbie oven. The electrical cord was cut off and removed before It had been given to me, if that is any indication of what was perceived to adults to lie ahead.

I learned something new today. People are more likely to develop skin cancer on the left side of the face than their right, statistically speaking. This is the first I have heard of it. Apparently, according to the California Skin Institute, that provides therapy for skin cancer in California, we are more likely to develop it there because we drive. UVB rays are blocked often by a coating on the windshield, but UVA rays are not typically blocked by the side window.

As we age, there is a gender disparity, according to the Institute:

“Recently, a study by Butler and Fosko showed that the majority of skin cancers in the US develop on the left side of people’s bodies and faces. This finding is especially pronounced in men, who more consistently spend time driving cars over a lifetime. While younger women have more left-side than right-side skin cancers, at age 50 this trend in them reverses, and rightside skin cancers predominate until age 80. Though we can only speculate, the shift seen around age 50 may indicate that younger women spend more time as car drivers, receiving more exposure on the left side of their bodies, while older women may more often be passengers, thus sustaining more right-side sun damage.”

The thought is also offered that more homes are two car households, so more women are driving at a later age. It should be interesting to see if these numbers equalize between the genders, as generational difference tend to take time to reflect in any numbers.

I never leave the house without sunglasses and always set a hat in the car. Though there is no “magic bullet,” I try my best to think about foods rich in antioxidants to build up my immunities against certain cancers, like cauliflower blueberries and kale. After reading this, I am going to think twice about hopping in the car for a long drive without sunscreen on my face (Zinc and not aluminum based, of course).

Does information like this inspire you to change small things about your daily habit, or do you have the mindset that if you are predisposed to have skin cancer, there really is no way to beat it?

I wasn’t really clear on what sort of domestic duties Mr. Belvedere performed aside from cooking and fluffing sofa pillows, as he issued more wry witticisms than household management, so it seemed. But maybe the show just took place on those off days, similar in theory to why there were never bathrooms on Star Trek until The Next Generation. They just got right down to business and left out all the routine stuff. I also don’t really remember much since I was a little shorter then, though the theme song sometimes gets painfully lodged somewhere in the middle ear. Are you under the age of 15 and don’t remember it? Go to Youtube. You can thank me later. I think it involves a tuba or a sousaphone.

In real life, I don’t know any middle class American family living in a subdivision that has their own English butler or robot, but sometimes you need one .

Growing up, my mom was friends with a lady who had emigrated from Canada instead of England. She was not a robot or a butler, but she had a cleaning lady. Twice a month, she would go home to clean her house before the cleaning lady came. It always perplexed me. What was the point of that?

As I grew in height (“as I grew older” is so unnecessary to remind me of), I thought “hey, that idea is not half had.” Now I try my best to Fly with the Flylady, but for some folks, buying them a gift certificate for a last minute maid service before a party, or more so when a loved one is coming home from the hospital.

If you are thinking about gifting someone with the gift of cleaning, there are several things they’ll need to do first before the cleaning person arrives.

1) Declutter. There are a few reasons here. Firstly, it prevents someone from seeing your very personal bank statements or undies, but it also protects someone from falling leaning towers of Pizza. Important papers can also be confused with garbage.

2) Decide what rooms should be cleaned ahead of time. This way, there is no misunderstanding on either end. Typically, the kitchen and bathrooms will be attended to and other rooms are as negotiated.

3) A cleaning person will do the heavy cleaning, such as floors and sinks, but will typically not do your laundry.

4) A periodic cleaning person is not replacement for you own routine cleaning, but gives a base to work from.

Last but not least, find a copy of “I’m a Barbie Girl” to play, or that little ditty by Right Said Fred.  Why? If you have followed all suggestions carefully, you will need something to get the Mr. Belvedere theme out of your head.  I am not too cruel. I didn’t suggest The Macarena.

Posted by Darwin Garza

I had never heard of DirectStarTV until maybe a few months ago. To be honest, I just never paid attention to company names or service providers much before I started working at the company I am with now. All I cared about was if Coke was using the polar bear ad campaigns near Christmas.

Outside of small factors like that, I really had no idea what a majority of companies did. TV providers were no exception really. I just did not pay attention. I mean, all of those companies really do some good ad campaigns, but I just never really paid attention or remembered them.

It is definitely a good thing I am not in charge of any sort of marketing campaign at my job. I would have no idea how to get the attention of people like me! I have so much respect for our marketing representatives who do such a good idea representing our company and making out name known. I cannot say whether or not I would know the company if I did not work here, but I think I may be somewhat of an anomaly.

What if I eliminated some of the water in another recipe and replaced some of it with extracts or pure cherry juice? The results were mixed and the brownies turned out almost unbearably cherry. Recently, I discovered what I was doing wrong. In theory, it makes sense to reduce one liquid by adding another. Extracts and super concentrated juices, however, are too strong to replace the liquid in a cake with one for one.

The answer lies in baklava. Really?

Several Baltic nations argue over who originated baklava. Why does the Greek version taste slightly different? The secret is flower water, specifically rose water. It is very subtle. You don’t really notice it per se, but notice something’s different that you can’t put your finger on.

There are other flower water, such as orange flower water. Instead of being made from the zest as extract is, it is made from distilled orange blossoms. The flavor is a bit more subtle, and the water can be added a little more liberally than an extract ever could.

I am going to experiment (stay tuned, you guinea pigs!) with orange water. The flourless cake does not call for water, but perhaps I could replace a fraction of the egg whites or just add a splash. In the chocolate pudding cake, I am going to try cooking the pudding with orange water to see if I can replicate the aroma and taste of the chocolate orange Christmas candy like I can with the flourless torte.

Ready to try it? If you have already experimented with orange water or other flower waters where they weren’t originally intended, let me know.