TheSnackHound

I broke Twitter. Not singlehandedly, of course, but maybe I was the key person who just merely thought of issuing a tweet and that caused the whole thing to take a dive bomb. Some website give you a generic 404 message, but NO! Twitter gives you Fudgie the Whale

Okay, it is not really Fudgie the Whale.  That is just what popped into my head.  In fact, I don’t think I know any other name for a traditional whale.  Of course, there are plenty of Killer Whales with names, but I didn’t know any Blue Whales to have a name.  No one would have one as a pet on a show, except of course Aqua Man.  However, I think Aqua Man would have been the 200 ton whale’s “little pet” instead.

Fudgie the whale was and is a Carvel Ice Cream Cake that was brought back in the new millenia.  Why did they think a whale and chocolate ice cream cake went together?  Who knows.  What we do know is that the voice of Fudgie the Whale in commercials was originally that of Tom Carvel himself, letting kids know that they can find Fudgie or Cookie Puss at their local Carvel!  of course, now you can sometimes buy Fudgie at select grocery stores, as I have not seen a Carvel store often aside from on the East Coast.

The very unsettling idea is the prospect of being able to order your very own Fudgie Mascot Costume.  I don’t know if it is officially endorsed by Carvel, or not, but I saw one on a mascot site.  There is a BIG rule of thumb when it comes to costumes.  Aside from the plastic costumes with masks that were around in the 70s through mid to early 80s, until people decided kids couldn’t breathe in those masks, if you have to put the characters name on the front of it to let people know what you are, it is not a good costume!

I would have put more of a tail in the back or had the back part of the whale back there.  Instead of having it like he is standing up on its fin like Jabberjaw.  I would have the costume look like the cake, just with the feet sticking out the front.   Or put the whale sideways and then the persons face is the eye on the side.  There would be no way people wouldn’t know what you were then.   To me, the costume looks like a ginger bread man.

Anyways, I digress…

Oddly enough, all the cakes are Kosher, and if you go to the Brooklyn Carvel, you can even get one that is Cholov of Israel, meaning it is the very highest Kosher certification that you can get.  I did not know there were different levels, but what I am more surprised at is the fact that the cakes are kosher, because I always pictured Kosher foods as somehow healthier.   Oh well.

Maybe I will get a Fudgie the whale cake for someone who is way past kid age as a joke.  However, ice cream to me is no joke.

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I have always found Ruth’s Chris Steak House to be a tongue twister.  I don’t know why they just didn’t call it Ruth’s Steakhouse or Chris’ Steakhouse.  My best theory is that there was a bunch of people in the family or neighborhood named Chris.  There was Christopher, Cristine, Christian, and of course Christopher Junior and all that stuff.  Because there were so many, everyone wanted you to know that it was Ruth’s Chris that owns it.  Just like my Grandma who has two sons-in-law with the same name and my late Uncle was forever known as “Betty’s Tom.” Maybe Chris was Ruth’s son, daughter or husband.  It wasn’t that other Chris who was Ruth’s brother’s daughter or Ruth’s cousin’s husband.

Recently, I was corrected.  Who knows why I never bothered to read the company history on the website, but there was actually a Chris that had nothing to do with Ruth. Chris Steak House was in a down and out section of New Orleans when Ruth Fertel decided to buy it in the 1960s.  Instead of changing the name, she called it “Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.”  It sure probably saved a ton of money on signage because she would just have to put a sticky note or tap in a little plywood board to ad the Ruth part.  Pretty ingenius.

Now, Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse is a national chain.  What if someone else bought it.  Maybe a guy name Horatio would buy it and it would be Harold’s Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.  Then, later on a lady would come along and it would be Ellen’s Harold’s Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.  At that point, they would probably call it EHRCS (pronounced Eric’s).  But then Harold’s wife and Ellen’s husband worked there as equally as they did, even though Ellen and Harold owned it before their respective marriages.  Then, what would happen after that is they would ad little hash marks or little slanted lines under the names, so it would go like this:

That is what would be on the menu, but they would probably come up with some logo with all the names around it, similar to the design of one of those Grandma sweatshirts that has all the kids names on them with hand prints.  Expensive, you say?  Expensive to keep changing the corporate name?  They wouldn’t have to keep changing the name with the U.S. Government.  They would just tack up little boards or signs every time someone new came around or got married.  All the locations would do it and it would be sort of one of those unspoken things.  People in the communities would probably have to come up with their own name for each location based on geography and proximity to the nearest Radio Shack.  Sort of like “Mickey D’s” or “that restaurant by the movie theater.”  Hey, it could work.  You would just have to show up, though, because directory assistance would have no earthly clue what you were talking about.

Looking for something to do that is steeped in tradition this Thanksgiving?  Pull up a chair at Jefferson’s table.  In a de-luxe apartment in the sky-ey-ey.  Oh wait.  Not those Jeffersons.  Although when I was a kid I would have loved to have visited.  Ouisie always endured such crazy hijinks that I think that she needed a break.

The Jeffersons I am talking about is the Thomas Jefferson type, who have been around a little bit longer than the ones that have “moved on up.”  In fact, now we can hang out with the 10th generation of the family whipping up great dishes in the kitchen.  Actually, it is more so the 9th generation, but now the 10th generation is in on the act.  On the Jefferson’s table blog, you can read all about the amazing feast that is in store, and you can cook some of the dishes at home.  The latest posting features a recipe for Indian Corn Cookies from the most adorable chef ever.

Nope, she didn’t make cookies and then pop the kernals off corn and transplant them, but it looks real doesn’t it?? You’ll just have to wander over to Jefferson’s table to find out.   If you are feeling froggy, sometime in the future, you might want to pull a physical chair up to the table and visit the Old Masini Adobe in Santa Barbara, where you may partake in an awesome cooking class or a winemaker’s dinner.    You just may “Finally get a piece of the pie!”  I know.  I just had to say it.

The Silver Dollar City’s Southern Gospel Picnic wrapped up in Branson, Missouri on Monday. This year, instead of just focusing on quartets, there were acts of all sorts from a variety of musical genres. Of course, since it wasn’t the Southern Gospel CONVENTION, but the Southern Gospel PICNIC, there was food and plenty of it. One of the menu items that lifted my eyebrow was slow-roasted apple glazed chicken. Although I am more of a veggie, seafood, and chocolate gal, I am very intrigued.  I have had applewood bacon before, but am very interested in knowing what apple glaze is. I may have to book a room at the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing right now, for next year, unless one of you (my faithful readers) enlightens me before next year.

You may too late for this year, but you surely can get your food and entertainment. You can eat at the Barbara Fairchild Diner. It is not like a Kenny Rogers Roasters, where it is simply named for a singer. Country Music chart topper Barbara and her husband Roy Morris serve up the sandwiches and the ice cream. They are open from 11:00-3:00, and it all sounds like a lot of fun. I don’t know of anyone who has been there yet, but if you have, comment and let me know how you liked it.  According to a Branson Directory website,  Blair Zell of Geneva, Illinois, was at the Diner on September 5th, and said of the experience: Barbara took our order, delivered our food, and sang to us. What fun!

Yeah, that does sound like fun.  Sounds a lot better at some quaint little sandwiches I have been at in the various places I have lived in where a side of grumpy seems to be on the menu.  It comes even if you don’t order it.

The Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel is the other Branson property that often has great getaway packages.  In fact, there is a special package for the Cooking School Weekend, which will be held Oct. 16, 2009 - Oct. 18, 2009.  Rooms will only be $199.00 per night with the package.  It’s going to be great.  You’ll learn to make a four course meal and select wines with Chef Nathan.

Many national groups have their shindigs there for several reasons. There is so much to do with over 40 theaters, numerous golf courses, and blocks of shopping. The attendees will never get bored. Secondly, the location is smack dab in the middle of the country, that makes it much easier for people on the east coast and west coasts to meet without making anyone fly the entire way across the country.

Have you been to Branson lately?  Tell me what you ate, and what you thought!

I would have a little problem if I decided to be a barfly. At 5′, you can’t really gracefully plop your rump on a bar stool. You do have several options. You can do the Mt. Rushmore. This is the least graceful of the methods. You climb up the rung and then whip your hand around to the far side of the seat like you are climbing a rock wall. The other option is the “bathtub assistance handle” method. You grab on to the lip of the actual bar, and with one foot on the rung, you gracefully pull yourself up. The key is to distribute your weight properly, so you appear to be alighting the bar stool gracefully, and are just merely placing your hand on the bar for emphasis and are not actually supporting 3/4 of your entire weight with it.

Here is a brief roundup of several new and exciting Bar Stools to give you some pointers.

The pretentious “Mojito” stool is something my eye would immediately go to because of its bright color and streamlined design. However, my butt should never follow. There is no decent way to get up on this slick little number. It is slick to the eye, but also slick to the butt, especially if you are wearing velvet or chenille. You will just find yourself dumped on the floor when you try to pivot on your butt cheeks to try to get a glimpse of the handsome dude down the counter. Sandra Bullock could pull it off, but trust me, you might not be adorable enough.  Well, you could be, but it is not just about looks.  It has to do with comedic timing.  Physical comedy can be a bugger, and you want to make them laugh versus feel very sorry for you poor thing.

The only way this stool should be considered is if it is bolted to the floor.

This little number, I like to call the baby chair. It reminds me of the high chair that grandma had. It had a red seat, and had metal legs. Okay, it is absolutely nothing like this AT ALL, but the proportions are the same. You can see where I am going with this. Don’t sit on this if you are short. It might make other people think of a toddler chair, and it may emphasize your lack of height.

Of course, this is okay if you are among amazons, as the grass is always greener. As much as you would want to be taller, they want to be shorter. Not really. At your age, people have accepted the card they have been dealt, but if this were middle school, there would be many tears.

This model makes up for abject humiliation by being very easy to climb up on. If you see this model, you have to weigh the benefits and see if you rather take a table or will you be bold?

Picture a nearly empty Thai restaurant. Or a sushi bar. Hardly anyone is there because its a meat and potatoes neighborhood. Somehow this restaurant would have been better suited to an artsier fartsier area. I come for the food, but stay for the stools.

Because of the various rungs, I can easily get up on one of these babies easily and semi gracefully. One can put one’s hand anywhere. The drawback? Your keys and wallet could drop through one of those rungs.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let this stool fool you. Just because it is marginally comfy and it is easy to get up on, do not be tempted to do THE LEAN!

What is THE LEAN?   Picture yourself in a regular old chair.  You drop your keys or some sort of utensil on the ground. If it is a utensil, and you are seven years old, your mom would say, “Leave it down there.  Don’t pick that up.  The waitress will get it.”  Mom was not saving you from touching a spoon full of germs.  She was saving you from the embarrassment of leaning sideways over a chair, people being able to look down  your shirt and up your skirt, and you falling in a big mess and waking up the whole restaurant.  Of course, you didn’t have anything for people to see back then, but ending up with your underpants topside is embarrassing for anyone over the age of five.   At about three or four, you still show people your puppy print undies with pride.   In my day, it was Wonder Woman Underoos.

The monolithic bar stools at left remind me of a sort of Stonehenge of bar stools. Or maybe Easter Island. They are monolithic. They have a very wide seat to hold the most generous of derrieres. In fact, they may make my trunk look quite compact versus Mac truck size. Oh wait, Mac trucks don’t have trunks in the traditional sense. But they do need to pull a whole trailer for the junk that they would potentially have in it if they had one.There are several drawbacks to these as well, despite the generosity of their seat.

As you can imagine, if these are bolted to the floor, they get a thumb up. If not, this is another stool that you would be enticed to do THE LEAN on but shouldn’t. What my main concern is that someone may shoo you off. You see, the geometric appearance is so tight and perfect, that the weight of you may dimple it, leaving it saggy and baggy.  Any self respecting modernist would come in his/her black turtleneck and frown on you very severely.  Actually, I am mistaken.  You would only see the very slightest curl of the lip corner.  You may barely detect it, but 100 staff members will suddenly scramble into damage control mode when it occurs.

Last but not least is the tulip butt seat.  Okay, its not the “tulip butt” just the tulip.  It is just like the “mislocated asian restaurant” model further up.  There is one difference.  It doesn’t have the key and wallet loser holes in it.  While it may not completely compliment the atomosphere, it is going to be easier to sit on and much more comfortable.  However, what if you decide to pivot?  Will the molded butt imprint on the chair make it difficult.  You are just going to have to report to me from the field so I know what to expect. If you don’t stick, maybe it might need to become the “Official Bar Stool.”

There you have it.   These are the reasons that I do not have the proper credentials to be a barfly. Sorry, Mickey Rourke.  Sorry dude that liked to sit at the Third Street Saloon at Wayne State despite the whole place having plastic tarps for doors. Oh yes, and ordering half cranberry juice and half seltzer water or Vernors doesn’t really lend to “my cred” either.  I’ll stick to the sushi bar…although maybe not because I won’t be able to escape the bar stools of doom.  Maybe I will just have to order take out, and when they ask why I never eat in, I will just tell them I do not meet the height requirement to ride that ride.

I was musing the other day on how casually large and imposing tikis are used in the hotel and restaurant business.  Didn’t they learn their lesson from the Brady Bunch about messing with them?  Actually, sometimes, a business moves in and “inherits” a large and impossing tiki element to their building as left over from an establishment built somewhere between after WWII and the mid 60s with a polynesian theme that was so wildly popular.  They are forced to tie it in and make sense of it in some way. Maybe they put a tiki bar in the back even though its a Mexican place now.

This was particularly intersting to me. Here is the Best Western Aku Tiki in Daytona Beach. At right is what they show on the Best Western site. Looks like they are trying to minimize something rather than to play up its kitschy, nostalgicness?

If you have ever driven on Route One, you will not be able to miss the giant Tiki looming over the parking lot of Kowloon’s. The building itself is an area landmark and very common feature of driving directions. “If you pass the building with the giant tiki, you have gone way too far.  What is inside, you are greated by autographed photos of every wrestler Killer Kowalski seemed to have trained plus other celebrities who have come to Kowloon over the years. Plus a brain explodingly large menu.

Your brain will be in a whirl over the extensive menu featuring chinese (various regions), thai, polynesian, and Japanese cuisine.  You can indulge in sushi while your friends go for Pad Thai or a Pu Pu platter.   At any other restaurant, the variety would seem like a huge mishmash.  Kind of like “Pizza and Mexican.”  Because their menus of each ethniity are so large and complete, it is like several restaurants in one.  The rooms are slightly themed differently and there is also a comedy club on the premises.While some culinary experts may say the choices at Kowloon’s are way too high in number, patrons clearly don’t mind and it is part of the attraction. In fact they do have a Thai themed room, etc.  Try the famous Scorpion Bowl for two as long as you aren’t the driver. If you go, bring a LOT of cash. There are many economical choices on the menu to be had, but you will want to try everything.  I recommend that those in your party order different items so everyone can share or sample them all in order to try the most dishes.

This restaurant is definitely proud of their tiki.  You won’t see them trying to hide it in brochures like the best western.

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There are so many restaurants that are just so-so.  The food wasn’t offensive in any way.   No one in my party got sick or anything like that.  It was just not memorable whatsoever.  When you go to a restaurant and can’t remember what you even orders a few days or a few weeks later, it a sign that either you go there everyday and one day flows into the next, or it was just like any other place.

What if you are looking for more than “just adequate.”  Let’s say that you are going out for a special occasion versus being just desperate to find anyplace at all because your blood sugar is low.  When I am in a new town visiting, say near Philadelphia, I may not be able to depend on opening up the phone book and going to whatever Philadelphia restaurants my finger landed on that weekend.   Otherwise I may end up being shuffled into a place where tourists are “supposed to go to.” They may convince me I am supposed to eat under the Liberty Bell and not get arrested. Tourist hazing.

Instead of that, Restaurantica features over 400,000 restaurants in North America.  I was surprised to see even the little donut shop on the corner listed.  It has amassed this list of names, addresses, and phone numbers in its only five years of existence.  You have an opportunity to post your restaurant reviews to give other visitors a better indication of where to go in town. There is a number rating system for quality that appears to be weighted by number of reviewers and the rating they give. In otherwords, it is very balanced. That one cranky neighbor that is never pleased with anything and just likes to complain can’t tank a restaurant with their single vote, nor can the only guy in town to like a restaurant put it at the top of the list because he is the only one reviewing it.

Check it out, weigh in, and have fun searching. You may even find a place around the corner that you never tried before.

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My dad and a friend of his always used to joke that they were going to retire and open up a Dairy Queen.  They thought it was the best business because you would be open just after Easter to before Halloween and you would have the other months off to kick back.   I don’t think it was really about business model, but more so that they both really liked ice cream.  My father is not a heavy nor particularly indulgent man, but an outing usually doesn’t end without an ice cream.   I was always Miss Boring Vanilla until I later discovered Peppermint Stick and Cookies N Cream.   Until then, I was a Vanilla girl probably for fifteen years running.

When I was in grade school, Charlie’s Shake Shop in Mukwonago, Wisconsin, was pretty legendary.   Charlie was actually named for a Charlene.  They had booths as well as the expected little tables and “ice cream shoppe chairs.”  They served every flavor of ice cream someone in second grade could have ever dreamed up, scratch n sniff stickers, and candy sticks.  In the back hall, there were a few arcade games.  I remember Pac man and Joust, and a pin ball machine.  I remember the jukebox, and the times we used to try to trick our siblings into smelling the old shoe or skunk scratch n sniff stickers.

Every year, the student who won the Listening Competition got to go their with the music teacher, where they were treated to the ultimate situation.  What was the Listening Competition?   We prepared for it all year.   We were heavily versed in music appreciation from the standard classical pieces, show tunes, to orchestra pops.   We were played a very short, short snippet of the record and had to identify it the quickest.  But the needle could go anywhere in the record.  Kind of like “Name that Tune” without Kathie Lee.  In otherwords, if you are the type of person to only remember snippets of bad 70s ballads because you have seen too many Time Life music commercials, we had the classical version in our heads.

There was a dish that was seldom ordered, but was heavily entrenched in the Clarendon Avenue Elementary School lore.  It was literally a bucket that contained a scoop of every single flavor Charlie’s Shake Shop served (and it could be plain or have any toppings you wanted).    The winner would get to go to Charlie’s and actually order anything they wanted on the menu, but that is what traditionally was ordered just because you could. No one ever finished it, unless they were lying.   You see, the selection put Baskin Robbins to shame.  If you were thinking about just 31 flavors, that would be the appetizer.  You were just starting to warm up at that point. They happily wrapped it up “to go” if you could make it back to your freezer in time.   In a small town, nobody lived to far, so one could actually make it.

Today, no one would dare serve something like that.  It would just be a major health issue waiting to happen, but you sure wouldn’t die of a calcium deficiency!    It could make any person lactose intolerant for life in twenty minutes.

A few years later, we moved away, and Charlie’s closed and became a bike shop.  Or did it used to be a bike shop before Charlie’s?  I can’t remember.   But the fact remains, is that Charlie’s became history, for a reason we don’t know as it always seemed busy.     Back then, which was not that long ago (the 80s), it was the only ice cream place at the time in town in a “one grocery store/one restaurant/one pharmacy” town.    Today, there are over 25 restaurants there.  I guess we would have been considered like “pioneers” compared to what it is today, except we wore jelly shoes and carried trapper keepers instead of carrying muskets.

Now, I am sure I will hear from someone else who remembers Charlie’s, as I found zero reference to it on the internet.  Well, now something about it is on the internet.

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