TheSnackHound

There was a question posed on Yahoo Answers:

Hospital food or airplane food or jail food?
which one is the best and which one is the worst?

I have debated this question myself. Not for very long, however. I do feel that I know the answer to it, so it is not a “chicken or the egg” argument in futility.  More on that theory at a later date.

Peter, author of Peter’s Hospital Diary had a revolutionary theory in the archives that takes the onus away from hospital dieticians, namely his thesis that it is not the actual food, but the distribution system that makes it so bad.  He writes:

The food is all cooked centrally and distributed in hot cupboards - plated and covered up. There lie two immediate problems. The first is the hot cupboard, which must be hot enough to make sure the food is transported above the legal (for food safety purpose) holding temperature - which I think is 72C. The problem is that if the cupboard is above that temperature, and kept for any length of time, it continues to cook, and dry out, so things like vegetables, pasta or rice are overdone, and wet food congeals, and dry food gets drier. Worst of all is that the plates have covers on them, and when that is removed, the smell is appalling - especially fish and some vegetables. The most successful meals are casseroles and the like.

Technically, based on his observations, the person at the end of the hall of the 8th floor could be getting sick, where the person on the 2nd floor could be raving about a culinary masterpiece, as if existing in two parallel universes. 

He goes on to write:

(Just heard from one of the nurses that the food has won awards - best in the country - which it may be when it leaves the kitchen - but not at the point of delivery. Heaven help the worst…)

Ironically, a hospital in my very own county is just like this.  They have won awards at the county wide “Taste” of the town type of events for their perfect Hollandaise sauce and their whole overall quality and presentation.   People that are not staying at the hospital actually hires them to cater hoity toity events.  Go figure.  This seems to support Peter’s sage theory, or smart excuse, even though Peter’s hospital appears to be in the U.K. and the one I speak of is in a semi-rural county in Florida.

Maybe after reading this you will never look at red jello* the same way again. 

(*= Red IS a flavor.  Just ask the Freezer Pop/Freezer Ice people).

It is Hospital Food Week at TheSnackHound.Com.   This week we will celebrate the sodium, and generally dish about various virtues and horror stories about institutional cuisine.   The past few days, I have really been thinking about sushi.   I watched “No Reservations” last night, and Anthony Bourdain was being treated to the creations of Chef Masaharu Morimoto.  Coincidenatally, I talked about the very chef recently, albeit from a more fashion oriented perspective.

What caused the shift in gears?  Well, my husband is in the hospital. I am just here for a split second to grab some fresh clothes and head back.  We are hoping that he comes home tomorrow, but as they were wheeling in a tray, my whole life of hospital food flashbacked to me.

My earliest memory of hospital food was food I didn’t actually eat.   When I was a toddler, I had a second of two seperate eye surgeries.  The deal was that I could go home if I had an appetite.  Much to my parent’s display, I wasn’t offered crackers, a peanut butter sandwich, or other common fare for the two year old set.    I had to eat what was served, and that was Texas Goulash.

What exactly is Texas Goulash?

To sum it all up, it is a popular camping food.  You take about 2 lbs of ground beed and skillet it up.  Then you mix in a can of tomatoes, corn, a chopped onion, and beef broth.  Processed cheese food like Velveeta is often melted over the top.   Some variations also include hot dog pieces or macaroni along with everything above, though I guess Detroit. really wasn’t close enough to the Rio Grande for that.   I do think that since this meal is a “everything but the kitchen sink” style of concoction, suited for the crock pot or a pan on the fire, that you can be a little loose with it.

I have news for the hospital dietician: How many two year olds like the smell of a strong onion, and like ground beef slathered in tomatoes?   From what I remember, two year olds are pretty darn picky.  They might accept food covered in tomato sauce (so they can dip something in it), but put too many ingredients in there, and you have something that a two year old would reject.  It just confuses them.  Something in their brain can compute mac and tomato sauce.   They can compute corn.   But put it all together and they yell, “NO!” 

Maybe the exception was when Bobby Flay was 2 years old.  He probably liked corn sprinkled into his strained peas or baby carrots or in his apple juice because he seems to think every dish needs corn in it either as a garnish or a main ingredient.

As you probably could have guessed, I didn’t get to go home that night.  My eye was fine, but my sense of culinary adventurous rejected this beef “leftovers” and the hospital decided to stifle my discerning tastes. 

Were you ever surprised by hospital food?  I should say PLEASANTLY surprised…as we have all been surprised in the other way.