TheSnackHound

It was only a matter of time.  In fact, I don’t know why they didn’t think of it thirty years ago.  But Spam is like that.  Spam is a bit slow on the take.  It hasn’t changed since World War II.  Maybe it has never changed.

At any rate, you would think there was a natural promotional vehicle or tie in when the Spam skit ran on Monty Python’s Flying Circus.  Spam missed out on a prime opportunity.  Now, there is an official SPAM Spamalot game on the Spam website to tie in with Monty Python’s Spamalot, the stage production that is touring the world in various forms.  I am sure it was not Spam’s way to suggest this, but the folks behind the show.  It is clear that the relationship improves Spam’s position in the world.  The show can stand on its own.

I must worn you though, when you go to the Official SPAM site, you will be immediately assaulted by this guy, his dazed wife, and his goofy, but harmless enough son:

A picture may not harm you, but you will be immediately be assualted with a SONG on the site about SPAM. I scrambled to turn the sound off and you will too. Unfortunately, you have to get through this family to get to the game.  Then finally you do.  It is not really about SPAM, but SPAM needs all the help it can get.  The game involves catapulting cows over to the other side, whether you decide to be English or French.   Mindless Entertainment.  Much better than SPAM!

When I went to the Cider Mill over the weekend, I was not just shocked by the fact that people eat peanuts with candy corn.  I, in fact, was also mesmerized by the giant apple at the Robinette Cider Mill.  As you may have guessed, my interest in giant cement, fiberglass, or wooden food items never wanes.  Afterall, a mall that I worked at during college had a play are where you could climb all over gigantic breakfast foods.  Some had steps or slides on them.

The apple just sits casually amid the picnic tables with a sign on the side that says “Please Don’t Climb.” If I was eight years old, I would consider this a mere request and not any sort of edict. Of course I was a polite child and honored polite requests, but sometimes I fell to reverse psychology. Most likely, I probably had James and the Giant Peach read to me in class that week, so was still surrounded by the world view that it was thorughly normal to interact with giant fruit. In fact, it was expected.  It was something, like growing up and being Wonder Woman, that you can look forward to in the future.  Just be patient, and it too will happen for you.

What I was most impressed by is the shading of the apple.  This wasn’t just your typical roller job on the paint.  No, sir.  The apple had dimension to its paint job, or at least I imagined it.  What I didn’t ask is what variety the apple it was supposed to be.  It didn’t quite have that deep hue of a red delicious.   It didn’t have the splashes of yellow and pale, almost pastel red that Fuji apples have.  Is it possible to just have a “generic apple” sitting out there?   I find it hard to believe that someone whose life is apples just made up a generic one to represent all Apple-Americans of all heriteges and experiments there of.

I wonder if Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter, Apple, is going to be called Crab Apple at school.  Maybe her boyfriend will call her Golden Delicious if she is blonde.  Maybe, and we can hold out hope on this one, she will grow up and marry a nephew of Denzel Washington’s.  That would be lucky for all of us, as in the phone book, she would be listed as Washington, Apple.   I know, we can only dream about that one, can’t we?

The following information is provided as a public service announcement and not as an endorsement of any said practices, nor encouragement to try this at home.**

I was typing away, and I heard out of the corner of my ear the dismebodied voice of Ted Allen talking about exploding grapes. Of course, as this was a subject of interest to me, I emerged from my office to see what it was all about. It was a show where this very idea was put through its paces. Of course, as you know from my post about Skittles, a show like this would have been a mere dare to my brother and I as kids.

Apparently, after further research, as I missed most of the segment, grapes do indeed go through a freaky metamorphisis in the mircowave.  Somehow, the liquid-like center of a grape does not agree with the technology.

On Wikihow, the subject was deemed so rediculous that regulars threatened to have it pulled.

One user replied:

I’ve done this before. It does not damage the microwave in any sort of way, and exploding is definitely the wrong word for what happens. All it is is the water in between the two grape halves is excited to the plasma state, and creates what appears to be a large fireball rising up through the microwave. However, there isn’t enough energy to sustain the plasma-state and by the time it hits the top of the microwave chamber, it will turn back into ordinary water. It’s not dangerous, and it is actually an interesting bit of a time-waster with good science behind it as well.

So, would anyone recommend actually intentionally doing this to make some sort of grape spread for cucumber sandwiches?   I would be afraid that the grapes would be in such a microwave induced altered state that it would be a secret ingredient for a potion in a classic horror film.  (There was no mention of Frankenfood grapes reacting differently) At least that’s my opinion.

The actual article writer states some words of wisdom:

This might not work on the very first grape you try. Try it plenty of times before giving up.

If it still doesn’t work, you may need to move it to a different spot in the microwave. Some microwaves have “hotspots” that are exposed to more energy than other spots, so you’ll be trying to find one of those.

The writer also instructs that it works best if you slice the grape slightly.

So, the actual intent was to “successfully explode a grape” and not really a word to the wise to help you AVOID IT.

Oh well, we have stopped using our microwave, but I imagine I am going to have to make sure my brother doesn’t read this because he’s going to see an unused microwave as something that just “calls” to him.

(**= I double dog dare you).

My brother is coming to town!  I haven’t seen him in about two years.  We live far apart, but when we get together, we are like two little kids.  We just laugh and laugh.  Often, we ill pull out a trivia game.  More often than that, we will commandeer some very regressive game like Chutes and Ladders, even though we are 25-30 years older than the 3-5 year old “target age.”   Out now is a ScreenLife Disney Bingo Game.  We haven’t played a game as interactive as that in a long time, which means there will be plenty of harrassment from eachother if there is any technical illiteracy.

But, I am ready for him.    I was just thinking of the Disney videos we sat through when we watched our little sister, and I was thinking of all the different cooking scenes in the movies that I really didn’t pay attention to then, but somehow are stored in my brain.  So without further ado…

Top 15 Big Food Moments in Disney Films

(In My View Anyway)
(In Backwards Order)

15)  Dog Bones get eaten in ‘Oliver and Company.” Not too earth shattering, but I felt it didn’t feel right unless the list was 15 and not 14 items

14)  Ratatouille.  Okay…now that one’s out of the way. Next.

13) Bambi eats grass.  It may sound gross. He talks, but he is still a deer, remember!

12) Pinocchio and Gepetto are Whale Food.

11)  Marlin and Dorrie are Whale Food.

10) Obscure, background-filling “Salt and Pepper Shaker” characters in “Beauty and the Beast” are turned into bigger character roles with solo dances in the Broadway version of “Beauty and the Beast.”  Collectors wonder when the commemoratve Beauty and the Beast Salt Shaker salt shakers come out.   They are sorely disappointed because they only come out with figural “Beast and Belle” salt and pepper shaker sets and not replicas of the actual Salt and Pepper Shaker.

9) Spaghetti Dinner for Two in “Lady & The Tramp.”  Woulda put it closer to the top of the list but its predictable.

8 ) Ariel drinks the Kool-Aid.  Gets Legs.

7) Fish are Friends, Not Food in Finding Nemo

6) Sebastian almost becomes crab cakes in “The Little Mermaid.” Chase ensues

5) The most famous bitten Apple since Adam eve.  Snow White Bites Down.

4) Dumbo gets liquored up.  Is this in the new PC edits of Dumbo or do they label the XXX bottle “Mountain Dew”

3) The Fairy Godmother’s Bake a Cake for Aurora (Sleeping Beauty).  They don’t really bake it.  It’s raw. And they use any cups and mugs they have to measure it out.  Sounds like me.

2) Mrs. Potts pours Belle a cup of Tea OUT OF HER OWN HEAD.  Gross!

1) Ariel combs her hair with a fork.

Yeah, the Dinglehopper! I think is the oddest and best Disney food related moment.  My mind is strange, I know.   So if you think I am an oddball…what are your top 5 favorite Disney Songs, Movies, or Moments?

Well, brush up on all the names of these movies for when you grab your own Disney Bingo. You can snag yourself one at Drugstore.com. Amazon surely has it too. We’ll have a tournament against eachother.