Honestly, I am not that big on cookies. Lately, most people have been making them with gooey fruit in the middle or they are crusty and crispy like pastries. My cookies need to be chocolatey and easy to eat without leaving a trail of crunchy combustibles. My “go to” “fake it and bake it” style cookie is Chocolate Chip Devil’s Food cookies. They are super simple to make, unlike my last “fake it and make it” recipe which called for so much prep time making homemade mousse to make a boxed cake look homemade.
1 Devil’s Food Cake Mix
1/2 cup vegetable or canola oil
2 eggs (not hard boiled or Cadbury)
1/2 cup to 3 cups of semi-sweet or dark chocolate chips.
1) First, make sure that you have at least 2 eggs in the fridge. You’ll need vegetable oil too, but you probably bought it 6 months ago and forgot it was there.
1) Go to the store and get a Super Moist Devil’s Foodcake cake mix. This can be any brand that you want to get or is on sale. Then come home.
2) Pour 1/2 cup of vegetable or canola oil in a bowl. Get the eggs out of the fridge. Notice that they are now gone. Someone is home that is not normally home at this time and decided to make themselves scrambled eggs because there were “just two eggs in there and didn’t want to waste them.” Root around in the cupboards for Egg Beaters. Turn up empty. Go back to the store. Get more than two eggs. Trust me, don’t use just one. You will make some pretty mean hockey pucks that way, but they’ll also be a powdery mess.
3) Crack the eggs and put only the contents of 2 eggs in the bowl with the vegetable oil. Make sure the eggs are broken and everything is mixed in evenly.
4) Slowly pour the cake mix in the bowl with the other two things. But actually there are three things because there are 2 eggs. Oh yeah, since they are scrambled up, its just one mass of egg innards. Appetizing, huh? Do this gradually. I made the mistake of plopping the whole thing in there and then mixing it is like mixing cement.
5) Mix contents with a hand mixer, unless you are a really fancy person and have a stand mixer and you put flame decals on it or decalse of a B-52 Bomber on it.
6) Once everything is thoroughly mixed up, portion them out into balls on a cookie sheet. I heard this recipe is supposed to make 24-36 cookies. There is just NO WAY. You are lucky to get 24. I actually only got 20 cookies. Because I ate them. DO NOT eat the raw cookie dough. You can do it with peanut butter cookies but don’t do it with these. It’s runny and soft and has raw eggs in it…unless you buy the pasteurized kind that are for Caesar Salads. Then its okay. But it might feel weird.
7) Bake for 10-12 minutes at 350 degrees. The cookies won’t look done, but they are. No hockey pucks, people! Unless you really want them that way.
You want pictures? Sorry. I ate them all. Not all at once. I assure you, it was in moderation.
