This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of LG Chocolate Touch. All opinions are 100% mine.
This is a public service announcement from TheSnackHound.com. I have sent a missive to some dastardly individuals for our mutual benefit. Read on to find out what my druthers are in a bunch about.
Dear All You People at LG or Verizon or Something or Other,
I wish to upbraid you for your blatant disregard for my welfare. When I heard that you were coming out with the LG Chocolate Touch, I was understandably very excited. “At last,” exclaimed I, “I will finally realize the powers of King Midas, only except things will turn into my favorite food. Although gold would be quite handy, you definitely would inspire a formal inquiry into your behavior if you tried to cash gold bars in. So, I will never starve. And I can sell chocolate sofas and armchairs for Valentine’s Day.”
Shirley Bassey would sing my theme song, which would be a really amateur hour rip off. “Choc-lateFINGer… She’s the girl…the girl with the Chocolate Touch.” Yep, watch out pretty boys. My heart is cold…er…brown…er…has either a chocolate truffle or fruit filled center.
However, I almost had a conniption fit when I discovered I had been throughly and utterly flim flammed. I would never be the woman with the Chocolate Touch. At least the kind that I was envisioning. No, I will have to be content with a phone merely named the Chocolate. I should be mildly amused. Just like I at one time coveted, the 1950s handbag called The Dachshund, not because it had a Dachshund on it, but just because it was called that, I should get some sort of I should get some sort of a minor thrill about owning a phone called the Chocolate. Just as my interest in the handbag settled into slight bemusement, I should at least crack a minor smile at least at one side over the phone.
Where does the blatant disregard for my welfare come in? Well, there was clearly some disappointment here. The boat on my emotional well being was slightly rocked, but so were my teeth when I drowsily thought that the LG Chocolate was a chocolate waffle. Oops.
If I were really excited about this Chocolate thing being a phone, I might be tricked into really liking the Iphone-esque touch features. I may even be hoodwinked into enjoying the Dolby Sound. You know Dolby. That was the thing where the weird sound would come on at the beginning of movies to let you know that you were experiencing Dolby Sound and not just hearing noises. It’s like Technicolor for the ears.
Well, wait a minute. I can watch TV on my phone. And cook on it. Wait. No I can’t do it yet. There you go, guys. There’s your market. I’ll buy 20 of them if I can have a little arm that comes out so I can use it as a blender or garlic chopper. But then it would get messy. Oh wait a minute. There’s a 3.2 megapixel camera in there. Wait. I want one. Gulp. Slurp.
