TheSnackHound

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of VitaDigest. All opinions are 100% mine.

I am in sort of a funk today. There are a few reasons for my malaise. I am beating myself up about a few things that I haven’t said to people. The right opportunities just seem to slip through my fingers. It may be better to not wait for the perfect moment and just blurt it out, by I am so worried about rocking the boat.  Then, of course there are untimely events in the female cycle that make one a little cranky. Not THAT time of the month, but different times of the month. Slush on the ground doesn’t help, either. The weather doesn’t factor in, I suppose, but it certainly adds insult to injury.

I have been reading up and basically, to cure all of my troubles, I should be eating mood enhancing foods, such as sweet potatoes and shrimp because I will be so loaded up with B vitamins and fish oil that I couldn’t possibly be in a bad mood.  Well, I could always pop some supplements as an insurance policy just to make sure I was getting it all. Of course, nowadays there are not just multivitamins, but Vitamin B inside of Gummi Bears for the kid in me. Don’t forget the “destress complex.”

If I were not able to get enough during the day, I could get it in my sleep. I found some shampoo over at VitaDigest (They are offering some great deals such as free shipping on orders of $100 or more).  Okay, it is not solid Vitamin B shampoo, but it contains several Vitamin B factors, such as panthenol and niacin, which are very beneficial. I don’t really know how it works in shampoo. Do the vitamins help scrub off all of those toxins, or do they just sound fancy, influencing us to buy it? Afterall, they are on the outside of the body instead of in. Vitamin E has benefits when applied topically. I need to do a bit more research when it comes to others.

If I were an amphibian, can you imagine how perfect his would be? I could eat chocolate all day long, but as long as my hand was immersed in liquid Vitamins, or it was sitting lathered on my scalp, it would absorb right through my skin. That might sound a little gross, but scientifically, that would be life as a frog or salamander, wouldn’t it be? There certainly would be some complications to it, such as being much more sensitive to temperature, and having to stay moist, which I am sure moisturizing creams are for, but on the whole, there would be no excuse not to eat…absorb…your vitamins.

A relative of mine, who shall remain nameless, and I were having a debate about the presence of rugs in the kitchen. There are inspired or misguided souls who insist on wall to wall carpeting in the kitchen, and there are the advocates of area rugs and scatter rugs.

What is a scatter rug?

Well…they scatter. Sorry you asked, right? An area rug is something that stays put, while scatter rugs may be braided affairs that sort of bunch up. The dog arranges it into a ball and you trip on it. In fact, my first dachshund had the predilection for collecting them from around the kitchen and hall and making a comfortable mound of them. I can support their use in the kitchen, as they can be washed, but why are they used? Are they to cushion the feet while standing for hours scrubbing dishes? They don’t seem to have enough cushion for that, so perhaps it is merely a decorating statement?

I can justify an area rug underneath a table and chairs. That is different because it defines the space. I am still trying to get my head around the whole wall to wall carpet idea.  When they get stained, you can take the risk of washing cheap rugs in try out an experimental formula, but once carpet is stained and wrecked, you can’t do much about it. I know! You can get an area rug and some scatter rugs to cover the burn mark from when you dropped the Fry Daddy. Everyone will wonder why you have two rugs on top of another rug, but you don’t have to tell anybody. You can say you are trying to “define the space.” I’d back you up. I won’t tell.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Birdfeeders.com. All opinions are 100% mine.

A short time back, I noted how this item would make a good dish for candy or condiments in your home. Believe it or not, it is actually a bird feeder, but why should those little tweeters get all the whimsical elegance or the stately Heritage Collection of Bird Feeders? I wonder why birds would be attracted to something with a rooster on it. Unless the feeder is trying to tell us that its FOR roosters, but they don’t fly or frequent the backyard hideaways of suburban America. Of course, the exception is when they were at Donna’s* house in the 1970s and early 80s. She decided that even though farm animals weren’t allowed in the city, she was going to be known as the lady who had the rooster. There were no chickens. Maybe that is why he was so loud.

Crackles are another bird one doesn’t normally feed. They can be boisterous and pushy. My theory is they have to be to get any service. Everyone wants to feed the cute little fuzzy thing, but no one big with a off key voice.  That is why I decided that starting now, I am going to feed grackles. Whenever i bake something and there are leftover seeds, they are first in line.

Just about every bird feeder is geared to keep out squirrels and grackles, and only allows the little fuzz tufted things in.  What kind of feeder would a grackle like?  I think this Western themed model would be to their liking.  Grackles are mainly found in the Eastern United States and Canada, but their attitude is more rootin’ tootin’ than Ivy league blazer wearing. I think they would agree.  I think it should be placed near a bedroom window so their cackles and shrieks can be enjoyed at the crack of dawn. Now, wouldn’t that be the perfect gift for someone special?

If they didn’t like it, I can imagine it can be used to create one of those sand in a bottle things if the bottom was plugged up, or it could be a personal bulk food dispenser. The kids could play “Whole Foods” and not just “grocery store.” Now, that is setting up for an adult hood of health.

How are your backyard feathered friends faring this winter? Remember, if you start feeding them, do so every year. It is no fun to stick around only for the winter, only to have the buffet close.

(*= Name changed to protect the innocent. Her real name also starts with a D, and ends in an E. It contains five letters.)

Betty Crocker has undergone transformationsover the years.  The latest makeover she had was in 1996.  There was a whole scientific study done before changing her look.  In fact, a large group of American were taken, and their features were incorporated, so that Betty doesn’t look like a particular woman, but many women.   There are whole sites devoted to the racial makeup of the new Betty, some downright scholarly.

One report goes on to say: “The perception of what is typically American is also shifting. The old Betty Crocker symbolized the blending or mixing of bakery ingredients. The new Betty Crocker symbolizes the blending or mixing of races. The racial average of a population is its racial destiny, the racial future. The new Betty Crocker is a symbol of our intended future. The racial destiny of the American population is to be “Betty Crockerized,” its ingredients blended together toward the racial average, and cooked in the racial meltdown of the “melting pot.” 

The next time someone asks me about my friends who adopted two international children, I am just going to say that they have a “Crockerized” family.   I am sure that will go over well.   As far as my friends go, it is the first, and only marriage for both of them, otherwise if it wasn’t and they both came with kids from a previous marriage, I think “blended family” would just be rude.  I’ll call them a “KitchenAid” or “Cuisinart” family and people would think I am totally off my rocker or insensitively assuming my friends are such culinary aficianados that they would think the reference was cute.

More so than mulling over such serious topics, I thought it would be much more fun to ask:

Which Betty are you?

I am not so much asking what you physically look like, but which Betty Crocker embodies your attitude?

Are you the new Betty who is neat but casual, shown prominently on my site?    Are you the 1972 Betty with the Ann Landers hair, ready to dole out sassy kitchen advice?**

I think I am more like 1965 Betty.   I think I always wanted to have flipped hair, except I came of age during the era of the spiral perms and peacock’s butt hair.    My hair would have probably wanted to be more of a “That Girl” flip, though, which came later.   I would carry my proper little purse, but wear miniskirts.  Betty and me would be like Barbie and Midge. Midge was always slightly more mod than Barbie.  Or I would be Little Sister Skipper.

I would, as 1965 Betty, like to make things that required serving pieces that you only used for that particular dish and were useless otherwise.  For example, clam shell plates for clams casino, that you wouldn’t use any other time.

I know my choice is a little superficial…let’s see what you come up with.

Which Betty would you be?    

Choose from the Bettys  (Betties? Betty’s?) above.

Below: 1986 Betty vs 1930s Betty

(**= My Mom was 1972 Betty Crocker.  She taped Ann Landers and Dear Abby Columns to my bedroom door)

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of HealthyTuna.com. All opinions are 100% mine.

Lately, I have been pondering about how healthy tuna and other fish is for my diet. By diet, I don’t mean that I am on a diet. Oh yeah. The See Food Diet. I see food. I eat it. It is not really that bad. I really have only fluxuated five pounds since high school. You can hate me for that, but then again, I didn’t tell you how much I weighed in high school, did?

There is much flap about mercury in seafood, but in fact, the tuna that is labeled “light” is actually not tuna at all. Occasionally it is yellowfin rather than albacore. At any rate, actual tuna is safer than long lived large fish such as shark and sword fish. It has been found, that if there is risk, the benefits outweigh the possibility. Removing Omega 3 fatty acids provided by oily fish puts a damper on skin and brain health. I know from my own experience that when a lot of fish was removed from my diet due to circumstance rather than conscious choice, skin issues resurfaced. Sure, there are Omega 3 acids in flax oil, but I did not receive nearly the same results.

When I was a kid, I hated tuna. The main reason was because my mom slathered it with mayonnaise.

Here is a recipe for tuna salad without the icky white stuff.

3 celery stalks
2 cans of tuna
Ground black paper to taste
1 tablespoon sweet pickle juice
1 1/2 cups pickles, bread and butter style.
5 eggs.

Hard boil and peel the eggs.
Chop eggs and pickles in the food processor.
In a medium bowl, combine mush made in the food processor with tuna and celery, gently folding everything in.
Add pepper to taste.
Stir in pickle juice.

Now, don’t get carried away with the food processor.  This isn’t the Bass-O-Matic.  You just want to chop everything up just a little bit.  We aren’t going for Tuna Puree.  If you want, you can get out some crumpets or put it on crackers.  I really haven’t seen too many crumpets on this side of the pond, but I am just saying that its possible as its much more hoity-toity looking than plain old mayo, tuna and pepper.

I broke Twitter. Not singlehandedly, of course, but maybe I was the key person who just merely thought of issuing a tweet and that caused the whole thing to take a dive bomb. Some website give you a generic 404 message, but NO! Twitter gives you Fudgie the Whale

Okay, it is not really Fudgie the Whale.  That is just what popped into my head.  In fact, I don’t think I know any other name for a traditional whale.  Of course, there are plenty of Killer Whales with names, but I didn’t know any Blue Whales to have a name.  No one would have one as a pet on a show, except of course Aqua Man.  However, I think Aqua Man would have been the 200 ton whale’s “little pet” instead.

Fudgie the whale was and is a Carvel Ice Cream Cake that was brought back in the new millenia.  Why did they think a whale and chocolate ice cream cake went together?  Who knows.  What we do know is that the voice of Fudgie the Whale in commercials was originally that of Tom Carvel himself, letting kids know that they can find Fudgie or Cookie Puss at their local Carvel!  of course, now you can sometimes buy Fudgie at select grocery stores, as I have not seen a Carvel store often aside from on the East Coast.

The very unsettling idea is the prospect of being able to order your very own Fudgie Mascot Costume.  I don’t know if it is officially endorsed by Carvel, or not, but I saw one on a mascot site.  There is a BIG rule of thumb when it comes to costumes.  Aside from the plastic costumes with masks that were around in the 70s through mid to early 80s, until people decided kids couldn’t breathe in those masks, if you have to put the characters name on the front of it to let people know what you are, it is not a good costume!

I would have put more of a tail in the back or had the back part of the whale back there.  Instead of having it like he is standing up on its fin like Jabberjaw.  I would have the costume look like the cake, just with the feet sticking out the front.   Or put the whale sideways and then the persons face is the eye on the side.  There would be no way people wouldn’t know what you were then.   To me, the costume looks like a ginger bread man.

Anyways, I digress…

Oddly enough, all the cakes are Kosher, and if you go to the Brooklyn Carvel, you can even get one that is Cholov of Israel, meaning it is the very highest Kosher certification that you can get.  I did not know there were different levels, but what I am more surprised at is the fact that the cakes are kosher, because I always pictured Kosher foods as somehow healthier.   Oh well.

Maybe I will get a Fudgie the whale cake for someone who is way past kid age as a joke.  However, ice cream to me is no joke.

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This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Club House. All opinions are 100% mine.

Well, you lucky ducks who live across the Port Huron-Sarnia bridge, you are eligible for a chance of a lifetime to win a prize pack of Clubhouse Gravy packets and an apron! I am so excited for you. In fact, I think I am going to look up some folks I have not seen since about sixth grade and share the news with them.  They will either not remember me or think that my brain finally turned into a pile of goo. Or is it gravy? Yes, I am a bit more excited than if the prize were a kitchen makeover or a cruise, because then only one person would win. I just have a sneaking suspicion that there will be more than one winner. It could be YOU!  and YOU! Woohoo!

To enter, just putter over to the newsletter sign-up and contest entry and sign yourself up. Just remember, the contest is open to Canadian residents only.  All of you folks who live NEAR Canada don’t count. If you point to your hand at any time to explain to someone where you live, then you don’t qualify.  Sorry.  Even if you somehow live on a barge in the middle of Lake Huron or in the Detroit River.  “Hey, that’s international waters,” you say. Just look at your license plate. If it has a crown on it, you’re in.  If it says “The Great Lakes State,” then unfortunately and sadly, you’ll have to buy your own gravy packets.

What is the point of gravy in a pack?  You add the contents to drippings form the meat cooked to make a hearty, homemade gravy.  For some of us, its a little difficult to get everything right.  Consistency, color, and oh yeah…flavor…is important.  Clubhouse Gravy packs make sure that all the boxes are ticked and its on the table by dinner time. In fact, they have a gravy tips video to help you along.  There are selections for turkey, beef and more. Oh, and then there is the mysterious poutine. That is something I have never been able to get my head around. The idea of gravy on french fries just seems a bit too exotic for me. But its not french fries with gravy. That’s a bit simplistic.  It’s poutine.

While I once thought poutine was an adaptation of a traditional dish, it really happened as an accidental restaurant invention 1957.  Cheese curds were glopped on top of fries.  Later, the gravy somehow entered into the equation.  Either way, by the 1970s, poutine had reached North American domination.  But not really.  Disco was being invented and the two just could not coexist.  So to this day, poutine remains a French Canadian comfort food and has yet to be sold at American fast food restaurants.

I digress (what a surprise).

If you win, please write in and let me know. I would love to document the historic day.

I have always found Ruth’s Chris Steak House to be a tongue twister.  I don’t know why they just didn’t call it Ruth’s Steakhouse or Chris’ Steakhouse.  My best theory is that there was a bunch of people in the family or neighborhood named Chris.  There was Christopher, Cristine, Christian, and of course Christopher Junior and all that stuff.  Because there were so many, everyone wanted you to know that it was Ruth’s Chris that owns it.  Just like my Grandma who has two sons-in-law with the same name and my late Uncle was forever known as “Betty’s Tom.” Maybe Chris was Ruth’s son, daughter or husband.  It wasn’t that other Chris who was Ruth’s brother’s daughter or Ruth’s cousin’s husband.

Recently, I was corrected.  Who knows why I never bothered to read the company history on the website, but there was actually a Chris that had nothing to do with Ruth. Chris Steak House was in a down and out section of New Orleans when Ruth Fertel decided to buy it in the 1960s.  Instead of changing the name, she called it “Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.”  It sure probably saved a ton of money on signage because she would just have to put a sticky note or tap in a little plywood board to ad the Ruth part.  Pretty ingenius.

Now, Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse is a national chain.  What if someone else bought it.  Maybe a guy name Horatio would buy it and it would be Harold’s Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.  Then, later on a lady would come along and it would be Ellen’s Harold’s Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.  At that point, they would probably call it EHRCS (pronounced Eric’s).  But then Harold’s wife and Ellen’s husband worked there as equally as they did, even though Ellen and Harold owned it before their respective marriages.  Then, what would happen after that is they would ad little hash marks or little slanted lines under the names, so it would go like this:

That is what would be on the menu, but they would probably come up with some logo with all the names around it, similar to the design of one of those Grandma sweatshirts that has all the kids names on them with hand prints.  Expensive, you say?  Expensive to keep changing the corporate name?  They wouldn’t have to keep changing the name with the U.S. Government.  They would just tack up little boards or signs every time someone new came around or got married.  All the locations would do it and it would be sort of one of those unspoken things.  People in the communities would probably have to come up with their own name for each location based on geography and proximity to the nearest Radio Shack.  Sort of like “Mickey D’s” or “that restaurant by the movie theater.”  Hey, it could work.  You would just have to show up, though, because directory assistance would have no earthly clue what you were talking about.

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of LG Chocolate Touch. All opinions are 100% mine.

This is a public service announcement from TheSnackHound.com. I have sent a missive to some dastardly individuals for our mutual benefit. Read on to find out what my druthers are in a bunch about.

Dear All You People at LG or Verizon or Something or Other,

I wish to upbraid you for your blatant disregard for my welfare. When I heard that you were coming out with the LG Chocolate Touch, I was understandably very excited.  “At last,” exclaimed I, “I will finally realize the powers of King Midas, only except things will turn into my favorite food. Although gold would be quite handy, you definitely would inspire a formal inquiry into your behavior if you tried to cash gold bars in.  So, I will never starve.  And I can sell chocolate sofas and armchairs for Valentine’s Day.”

Shirley Bassey would sing my theme song, which would be a really amateur hour rip off.  “Choc-lateFINGer… She’s the girl…the girl with the Chocolate Touch.” Yep, watch out pretty boys.  My heart is cold…er…brown…er…has either a chocolate truffle or fruit filled center.

However, I almost had a conniption fit when I discovered I had been throughly and utterly flim flammed. I would never be the woman with the Chocolate Touch.  At least the kind that I was envisioning.  No, I will have to be content with a phone merely named the Chocolate.  I should be mildly amused.  Just like I at one time coveted, the 1950s handbag called The Dachshund, not because it had a Dachshund on it, but just because it was called that, I should get some sort of I should get some sort of a minor thrill about owning a phone called the Chocolate.  Just as my interest in the handbag settled into slight bemusement, I should at least crack a minor smile at least at one side over the phone.

Where does the blatant disregard for my welfare come in?  Well, there was clearly some disappointment here.  The boat on my emotional well being was slightly rocked, but so were my teeth when I drowsily thought that the LG Chocolate was a chocolate waffle.  Oops.

If I were really excited about this Chocolate thing being a phone, I might be tricked into really liking the Iphone-esque touch features.  I may even be hoodwinked into enjoying the Dolby Sound.  You know Dolby.  That was the thing where the weird sound would come on at the beginning of movies to let you know that you were experiencing Dolby Sound and not just hearing noises.  It’s like Technicolor for the ears.

Well, wait a minute.  I can watch TV on my phone.  And cook on it.  Wait.  No I can’t do it yet.  There you go, guys.  There’s your market.  I’ll buy 20 of them if I can have a little arm that comes out so I can use it as a blender or garlic chopper.  But then it would get messy.  Oh wait a minute. There’s a 3.2 megapixel camera in there. Wait.  I want one. Gulp. Slurp.