TheSnackHound

An old dog is trying to learn a few new tricks, or more appropriately, an old SnackHound.  I am not old, but some days I feel like I am in a rut bigger and stickier than the molasses swamp in Candyland, especially with all the doom and gloom on the tube.  I used to take training module after training class to enhance my Job skills and to keep my mind active.  It has been a long time since I have temped, or donned my Perot approved charcoal gray suit and 1 1/2″ heels, and took my lunch pail into the corporate world.  Lately, I have been thinking about dusting off the old regulation height stacked heeled shoes and trying for a part time job, as it would also get me out there for some more blog fodder.  I need to know exactly what corporate America is snacking on these days, and it may just snag me an exclusive.   I know what they have when they grab lunch out, but what are they stuffing their face with when they work through lunch?

If you have the skills, occasionally a part time job in the corporate or sales arena can be really worthwhile considering the pay per the amount of time.   I have kept up my computer skills.  Okay, I have to admit I can be a bit geeky in that regard, and I mean the word geeky in a very proud manner.     Several years on a board of directors may sound impressive, but it sort of makes me sound overqualified if I am looking for a part time filing job.

I was recently turned on to Learn.com.  There are training and skills assessment modules relevant to various positions, such as customer service, administrative assistant, and retail management.   I chose to give the Customer Service Manager track a whirl.  In the past, I have had a lot of customer service experience, and had management responsibilities, but never had the title or pay scale.

I was surprised that it wasn’t a one shot class, but a series of lessons from everything from grammar to stress management.  It was a comprehensive array of left brained and right brained, technical and practical courses.  Okay, maybe you won’t be sketching or painting, so maybe it is all one side of the noggin after all.  When I saw the list, I thought I was in for a long night.

In school, I couldn’t chew gum or eat in class, so I fully took advantage of the situation.  I heated up an Amy’s Teriyaki wrap.  It was an impulse buy, I must admit.  Because it is organic goodness, I am enticed to believe that the late night snacking aspect will have no negative effects.  Of course, it was a little past its prime as I walked home with it in ninety-three degree weather.   I replaced my keyboard with the old one from the basement just so I could eat and type.  I always had wanted to do that in school.   Of course, I also grabbed some old pink gum out of the drawer just because I could.  Because it was a little ancient, I am too embarrassed to tell you the kind it is, as it probably would be eligible for carbon dating by now.  Let’s just put it this way: The gum was in a desk drawer, and my brother left this desk behind five years ago.  Enough said.

Truth be told, I also grabbed the rest of the PC, not just the keyboard, as the website does not work on anything but IE 6.0 or later.  My IMac and I have been in a pretty exclusive relationship for quite some time, and the PC seemed happy to have my undivided attention.

I took it for granted that every profession requires some form of being eloquent, and right off the bat, a grammar and punctuation assessment began.  Here is a sample question, asking one to pick out the sentence that is correctly punctuated.

That’s correct. This quotation consists of two
complete and separate sentences, so a period
should follow the interjectory material. Also,
the second quote should begin with a capital
letter.

I did pretty well, overall.  As you can see, I earned a check mark.   You can tell I am one of “those people” who got a little too excited about earning a gold star in kindergarten, can’t you? I got a few questions wrong, as I mistook some dust on the screen for a period or a comma.  Oh well. I had a chance to review it and retake the skill test.

I should have taken the math test first, as that is where I was sorely deficient.   One day, I was running through the grocery store trying to get a cake ordered in time for the corporate party.  I would pay for it out of my own money, and then the company would give me petty cash.  The cake would come to $19.98 with tax.  The supervisor would give me an envelope with a $20 bill in it.  I figured they just rounded up, until I saw something in the corner.  It said that I owed them $.02!    I was about to give them my two cents, alright.

The format is pretty straightforward, featuring both educational materials and assessments.  What some of the training reminded me of was the programs I used to use at the temp agencies years back to master or be tested on software programs.  Of course, the material here has a wider scope than office software, but the learn and test format is similar.  What is “value added” is that you can reveal your results to potential employers, and everything you can do to help you find the right job is worth the price tag.  There are some measurable skills that are assessed that can truly help you prove that you know your stuff.  However, there are modules on stress management and such where I think reading comprehension is more what’s measured than the skill.  Many people understand stress management and conflict resolution but it takes time, willingness, and patience to truly cultivate the skill.  Despite that, I am thankful that someone has created a system where one doesn’t have to run around town to test.  I fully plan to finish what I started.

If you have not guessed by now, the only major disappointment is that it is only compatible with Internet Explorer 6.0 and higher.  There are some courses on desktop publishing and web design, areas where Macs excel.  Often, companies require new hires to use Apple computers in their work environment, or one finds that people in those fields gravitate towards them.  It would make a lot of sense for Learn.com to strive for compatibility with Safari or Firefox.  Oh, and the other suggestion is that I think people should get coupons for typical vending machine items so they can recreate the environment of a corporate suite to gear themselves up for their new job.  I think one more mini package of peanut butter crackers and I will be completely acclimated.