TheSnackHound

A ton of years ago, there was an episode of The Simpsons, where they pull out a brochure that says:

So You’ve Settled for Branson

Branson may be a colossal joke to some, but I am always surprised what goes on there. Some of the events there seem as big as those that are held in Las Vegas, only with less show girls. Some info I saw put out by the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing mentioned some different events in the area that I might like to plan for. Truth be told, there are some that *I* wouldn’t plan for, but there are people out there that would.

For me, I would look forward to the meetup for old Packards. However, some of you, by the judging of your reader comments would be more of the crowd that would attend the 10th Annual Clown Jam. I kid you not. It is a real event. A madcap time will be had by all, and attendees will learn magic tricks and how to create and apply makeup. There will be two banquets during the event. Though I never say no to a new food worthy occasion, I just may be the one hiding under my seat. Nope, I am not very fond of clowns. I am less fond of wearing clown makeup. I wonder if I would hyperventilate.

I think I would be better off at the Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel. There is a Mediterranean style restaurant called Trofi. Their signature dish is their Saganaki. I long have been a fan of the flaming cheese. First, I became interested because of the sheer theatrical value of lighting up the whole restaurant with a non flame retardant dairy product. It certainly made everyone look at your table. When I was a little older, and a little more refined, I admired the smokey flavor and cheesy consistency.

When you are wandering around Branson, looking at the Titanic exhibit, marveling at the natural scenery, or running from clowns, you may want to take a break and try out Trofi.  The thought flitted through my mind that I could use Saganaki to ward off clowns, if it was lit.  Then, I decided I knew better.  I would eat it, as long as the portion was not too big, before the clown got close enough.

Hal, the surly PC, has randomly generated a winner in the online poster printing contest for a free 16×20 print. All of the data was entered into Hal’s little brain, and the winner is:

Michele Perry

According to Michele’s comment, this is how she is going to use her photo:

I would use my new poster to proudly display my boys, and my new girl Annabelle! (pic coming soon- she’ll be home in a month or so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, the boys are dachshunds, in case you were wondering!

Michele’s name and email address has been submitted to Uprinting.com. She will be contacted within a few days to invite her to select her favorite photo to bring REALLY, REALLY big. Thank you for playing, everyone!  Be on the look out for more great contests, recipes, and general mayhem at TheSnackHound.com

There are quite a few hoity toity companies on Twitter nowadays.  I have been following them and observing how the accounts are used differently than regular personal accounts. Marth Stewart has over half a million followers, but only follows 28 lucky people. The Ford Motor Company and VistaPrint Twitter pages seems to interact with their followers pretty frequently.

Now, I am on Twitter too.  I am aware that the clouds didn’t just part to make way for the flying pigs, but here (there) I am.  If you are looking for an adorable, tooth rotting bluebird in my sidebar, you won’t find one.  I have the more apropriate Dead Parrot. That about sums up this place. Just look in my left hand sidebar.  I meant right.  There is no left one.

Click on the picture of the perplexed John Cleese in my far sidebar to turn on to the SnackHound station. I placed a picture of it in this post so you will know what to look for.   Or don’t.   You probably are going to rush out and follow everyone else I mentioned, as they are far more interesting.   I wouldn’t blame you one iota.  Just enter my contest, then leave me my dignity and my chocolate pudding cake before you run away.

Hey kids!  The SnackHound is hosting a great blog giveaway.  In my spare time, I am not just a writer, but a photographer.  I like capturing the slice of life…literally…but I also have taken many of the photos that appear on this blog.  Unfortunately, my local copy shop just doesn’t offer large format prints or poster printing.   Maybe I will just make a big poster of my salt and pepper shakers.  Maybe not.

You probably have a far better idea.   So, I am pleased to be offering my readers a chance at winning a 16×20 poster print of whatever you like.  If you live in the US or Canada, you will receive the print free of charge. If you live internationally, you will just merely pay shipping. A fair deal, I say!

Of course, the stipulation would be that you have to supply the photo. Since it involves online poster printing, you will not have to mail a thing. It is merely an upload. No, you will not win a photo of The SnackHound (either the snack receptacle of to find out what I really look like. If that were to occur, I suggest you use it as a Halloween decoration.)

There are two ways to enter:
1) Leave me a comment on this post telling me how you would use your 16×10. What would you print? Why?

2) Write about my giveway, linking back to this post and to http://www.Uprinting.com. This means that you have a chance to win, even if you don’t have a blog or website, and you also have a chance at more than one entry.  

The winner will be selected totally and completely randomly by Hal 9000, the evil computer.  That is a photo of Hal’s eyeball, at right.  He has been extra surly since I switched to a Mac.  I decided to host this contest, in part, to give him something to do around here.  Please make him proud, and enter.  It certainly is a far more attractive alternative than giving him nothing to do, and then blaming me for when he is bored and takes over the world.

Let the games begin!

Last entry must be time stamped by 8:00 P.M., May 22nd, 2009.  Good luck!

Do I need a vacation? Yes. Whoops. What I meant to say, was do YOU need a vacation? If the answer is an affirmative, you may just want to toddle on over and enter to win a getaway to Kissimmee, Florida. The next time you can get your hot little hands on a trip is 6/1/09, when the next names will be drawn. You might win a weekend for two, or a week long vacation for four.

What if you have three children? Have them draw straws and the loser stays home. Of course I am only joking. You could take another couple instead. If you are single, take three random strangers. That is always good for a laugh.

Kissimmee is in the heart of Central Florida, not far from the amusement parks, but far enough removed to give you more of a small town atmosphere.  In otherwords, you can definitely take a short drive to say you passed by the giant Coca Cola Cup at Disney, but you can rest your head somewhere less caffeinated and sugary. Speaking of a small town, did you know that the greater Kissimmee it boasts over 145 restaurants?  As far as I last checked, the last time I lived in a small town, people pressed their faces against the glass to look at the rolls on the table at the town’s first and only sit down restaurant.  Everything is relative, of course.  Compared to how many eateries that are in, say, New York City, that is very small and quaint.

I read the list, and there are many familiar chains, but many one of a kind mom and pop places too.   As for me, I love to discover new places, but if I am not feeling too hot, I rather err on the side of the familiar and comforting.  I can do that in Florida, but I would never try it again in Mexico.  I tried to go to Pizza Hut there and the it was good as long as you are not expecting pizza crust and like fishbowl sized portions of soda.  In the greater Orlando area, since there are many travellers, I think the chains and franchises tend to stick to their recipes.  I digress.

If you have never been to Florida, I highly recommend you seek out a seafood restaurant and try some of the many shrimp dishes. The other recommendation I have is to get ahold of some good, authentic Latin food.  There are many Cuban and Colombian restaurants throughout Florida that I would recommend you experiment at.

Bottom line: Enter and win!

I know that some of my readers are running around and doing a chicken little.  I have news for you.  When I woke up this morning, the sky was still there.  It had not fallen.  There was a little run in, for sure, when I was riding through the countryside at two A.M. and couldn’t see a thing.  Then, I wandered closer to the city and realized that the sky was still there, it was just that the lights were not bright enough for me to see it.

The press about the swine flu has everyone in a tizzy.  I have a theory.  Those of you in a tizzy are more likely to contract it because you are running down your immune system with panic.  Stop it!  Also, this is not the first time this has happened.  A strain related to H1N1, which is the the more PC name for swine flu, created a Flu Pandemic back in 1918. You might want to travel to AboutFlu.Net and read up, as it is fascinating stuff.  It was far more deadly, as we didn’t have the medical advances, breakthroughs in sanitation that we do now. In fact, the new strain would have just been an isolated blip if i were not for our stubborn resolve to travel the world.

Here are the surefire ways to prevent swine flu:

1) Wash your hands regularly.  Your mother was right.

2) Take Vitamin C.  Richard Woodall was right ***

3) Get ample sleep.  The monster under your bed was right.

4) If you look in the mirror and are a pleasant shade of lily green, do not get on a plane.  Just ask Samuel L. Jackson.  Snakes broke out on his plane.  They are green.  He doesn’t want any more.  Of course, I am being facetious.  It is not cool to get on a plane unless you get checked by your doctor to make sure you are merely lactose intolerant, but went to Dairy Queen anyhow, and don’t have swine flu.

5) Do not think a surgical mask will help. It is a poor fashion statement, as well as it doesn’t pass microbes from passing through.  Of course, if you are really aiming for just attracting attention, you can just wear a silly hat.  A stocking cap like “Where’s Waldo” in the middle of the summer would do well if you are not into anything that won’t pass under a standard door.   If you don’t mind bonking your head, a stovepipe is recommended.   If you are sincerely concerned, get a respirator or something that has been approved for such purposes.  Go back to steps one through four for more effective methods.

6) Above all, don’t go on Spring Break.  It is over, of course, but college students and high school seniors insist on going to Cancun all year long.  The reason that I suggest this doesn’t have anything to do with the fine establishments south of the border.  If you are in your thirties or forties, you are safe.  Do you remember all the horror movies where teenagers and college students bent on a night of frivolity get bonked by the monster, the Jason, or the other title character?   No matter what, the ones that seem to get the ball rolling on being chomped or infected are of the 16-22 year old demographic.  They are inevitably skinnydipping, running along the beach drunk, rolling in the hay at a camp or youth hostel, or just plain sneaking out in their folks’ car.   It also has to be summer.

There you have it.  Please don’t panic.  Be smart.  Take precautions.  We’ll get through this.

***= Richard Woodall was the 17th century ship surgeon who recommended lemon juice as preventative medicine. Lind came along and took the wind out of those sails and scientifically proved the validity of Vitamin C. Lind gets all the awards.

Oh, what cute fabric! I love green, especially lime green, but I also like sushi. Sushi has lended itself to much artistic interpretation over the years. Just search “Cat Sushi” in the search box on my site, and you will see what I mean. I think this fabric would make cute cafe curtains. Maybe I should cut out the individual little sushi pieces and make magnets. But wait, let’s take a closer look…

Let’s see.  I guess it is not just a solid, honest piece of fabric.  These towels that are a special shape for hanging are great. I have seen them gathered or narrow in the middle, so when you loop it through your fridge handle, it doesn’t get all bunched up.   However, I have never seen them with elastic in the middle.  Maybe I am going to take yet ANOTHER closer look.

This must be one of those new cool pack covers that you can wrap an ice cream sandwich in. Sushi isn’t a frozen food, so why would they put sushi on it?

Oh…don’t tell me…I think I see what it is now. Don’t tell me that they put Sushi on a diaper.  Well, what goes in must come out, right? This is actually an offering from Cloth Couture Diapers.   I would call this style “Baby Sushi Butt,” but of course they have the more elegant “Sushi Sashimi” name.    It is sold out right now, but you can always order a Cherries and Rainbows or the ever popular Robot Butt theme.

I remember my friend’s mom wiping down the stove with my friend’s dad’s old underwear. This is cute enough for you wanting it to be seen outside of the diaper bag, but it’s too cute to get oven cleaner all over it for sure.  Well, why do diapers have to be ugly?  You have to wash them, so you an aesthetically pleasing pair may just outweight the non aesthetically business of babies.

Cloth Couture offers great giveaways and discount codes all the time, so if you have your own little Sushi Butt at home, you could just find yourself up to your diaper buckets in great freebies.  In fact, they do give you a free detergent sample with every order.  So you know THAT diaper you just ordered has a way to renew itself from its ordeal with Baby.

In Memory of Dom Deluise
August 1,1933- May 4, 2009

A tribute poem***

by Chris…TheSnackHound

Dear Dom Deluise
What can I say
In the 70s
You wore a scarf and beret
Although you were not French.

You sat on the bench
seat of a big old car with Burt
He is still known as the guy with the creepy 70s moustache
That has to hurt
While instead you donned the shirt
And the white hat

A hefty man who loves food
Imagine that.
But you were on the New York times list
While he starred in a movie
About making movies starring naked people
having various X rated trists.

Rest in Peace, Dom Deluise
And send us a postcard
If you please
To let us know
If we need Ziploc bags in heaven

***= Considered a poem only by a technicality. I think you would agree.

*****
Do you like the atmosphere around here?
Okay, this was more pathetic than funny, but still it would be nice if you would rate me on Humor Blogs!
(You will have my undying appreciation!)