There is not a day that goes by that I have not feigned surprise or shock over something. More likely, I am feigning that I am feigning surprise, which means that I am faking my faking of being surprised. What does that exactly mean? Well, double negatives cancel each other out or perhaps make a big giant toxic negative with super powers. In other words, I have no idea what I mean from a practical standpoint. Only a proverbial one.
What did I almost raise my eyebrow about today? I say almost, because although I never have had botox, I do not have the genetic makeup of someone like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who can noticeable raise their eyebrows. My emotionless expression was brought about reading up on Beaute de Maman, which is a cosmetics company. What is so earth shattering about that? Well, the whole modus operandi is being a niche cosmetics company to pregnant women. So, in otherwords, I originally thought that the line included lip gloss that smelled or tasted like dill pickle ice cream. Maybe there would be a post partum version that smelled like a really strong peppermint mouthwash to overpower and cancel out any smell of messy diapers that might be in the room. However, a pregnant friend once told me that babies don’t smell until they start eating “people food.” She didn’t really say “people food,” but as a dog person, my brain automatically translated it for me. Oh well, at least she only had one and not a “litter” like Octo-Mom.
In real life, outside of my brain, the actual cosmetics in questions are free of certain dies or chemicals that could injure a baby. You can order now on their site. In other words, the shards of glass that as a really fashionable single, childless gal I prefer in my eyeshadow is not present. Maybe there are those corner guards around the edges of the compacts just so no one knocks their heads on them. Actually, it is not about actual makeup at all, but more like facial scrubs and moisturizers. Apparently, the items are more hormonally balanced for the pregnant woman, but they also are free of chemicals, such as bisphenol A, which is found in some cardboard packaging and harmful to developing fetuses. In other words, if you are pregnant, don’t lick cardboard. You don’t know where the heck it has been.
In all seriousness, there are definitely chemicals in the products we put on and in our bodies that are not beneficial, at best, or harmful, at worst. My question is: Why do we even have these chemicals in skin care products period? It is like a woman smoking, quitting while they are pregnant, and taking up the cancer stick again. Just something to think about.
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