TheSnackHound

The kind folks at BluFrog are running a variety of contests to promote their new and natural azure amphibian themed beverage. You could win a Richard Petty racing experience, a New Year’s Eve trip to New York city, tickets to the Winter X Games and more. Purchasing products do not increase your chances of winning.  There is no “golden ticket,” where you have to guzzle down about thirty drinks a day to have a chance at.

Entering is quite simple.   You get an entry from going to their blog and leaving a comment with which prize you would like to win.  Additional entries can be had by blogging about the contest on your blog, or tweeting about it on Twitter.  If tweeting, you need to include #bluworld and http://bit.ly/UiiJy in your tweet. This way, you share the link with friends, and BluFrog folks will know that you have completed your mission. For those who are hesitant to enter contests, as they do not want their personal information shared,  this method of entry collects no phone numbers or email addresses.

Of course, there are additional rules aside from completing the entry method.  This contest ends at 11:59 p.m. EST on July 17, 2009.  Entries submitted after that time, will not be considered.  There will be no leniency for people who walked away form their computer to brush their teeth.  You had all month to do that.

To win a prize, you must be a legal resident of the United States, and you must be 18 years old or older.   If there is any sort of scuffle about identity, in the case of blogged entries, favor will err on the side of the person the blog is registered to.  In other words, if you are 12 years old and start typing away on your mom or dad’s blog, the joke will be on you.  Your parents will be sending you a postcard from the X Games and you will be sitting at home.  At least that’s the one I would like to win as I hear Aspen is beautiful.  There will be plenty of years after you are 18 to win plenty of other contests, so don’t rush to grow up!

Lovely unbaked cake, floating in space, did someone leave you out in the rain?  Of course, it isn’t raining now, but does someone’s carelessness doom your future? Or, more likely, was a photo snapped of you hovering?  You were using your fuel to get away from me, like a mini mother ship to tiny aliens.   After all, assembling you was only have the battle.  There was still the actual baking and decorating where I could still potentially mess things up.

Every weekend for the past few months I have been baking a cake.   I have been doing so for several reasons.  Firstly, I seem to be invited to many occasions where I am asked to bring a cake.  Maybe they have never read this column, where I outline very specific cooking disasters, and are understandably delusional about my skills.  The other possibility is that cakes are less frightening to transport than something that will immediately spoil or curdle on the journey.  The other reasons is that I have a Favorite Guy, and we both have a particular preference for all things chocolate and we must try a variety of chocolate cakes.

This past week, I made something that was partly of my own creation, and something I faked very well.

The original inspiration involved going downtown and spending $7.00 on a slice of very decadent cake.  The other half of the inspiration, was a few weeks back, making the Orange Chocolate Torte recipe on the back of a Ghirardelli Ultimate Fudge Brownie mix. It suggested preparing the mix, and adding orange zest. The part of the recipe that intrigued me was actually the idea of using a round pan and how mirror shiny the frosting looked.   The idea of making two and stacking them on top of each other entered my consciousness.  Of course, they needed to have whipped cream in the middle.  The real stuff.  That for sure would give me a cake that might be as good as that $7.00 a slice number, but for less.

Then, I could use that frosting stuff that they give you on the whole thing, and the desired result would be like making a giant Hostess Ding Dong, or King Don, or whatever they are calling those now.  Oh, there is another important aspect of this. It is not supposed to be orange this time.   So, just get the idea of orange out of your head.

After the mix was prepared exactly according to the instructions on the box, I did it all over again and made a second one.  Some people would suggest making things together and doubling the recipe, then splitting them into two different pans.  They forget who they are talking to, as I would probably be the one to get less egg in one and more in the other just by attrition.

This is how they looked, entering the fire pit of doom:

Then, I FREAKED. I took one cake out, and the other one was lonely for a short time.

You see, I had a temporary meltdown. I usually crack eggs in a mug. One mug had a suspiciously yellow tinged liquid in it still. I couldn’t have forgotten to have added the egg to one of them, could I? What would happen? Would it be an unqualified disaster? I then took a breath, and decided not to panic. What will be, will be. I inspected both cakes for loft and air bubbles and they both appeared to be the same.

Okay, back to the show. The two cakes baked on 350 degrees for exactly 38 minute.  Actually, I think I left them in for 40, and then worried if they were overbaked.  No matter. Through the magic of television, both cakes had cooled and had stacked themselves. Whipped cream was even in the middle.

Actually, in the meantime, I beat the whipping cream senseless with a hand mixer, until it had the consistency of concrete. I wish I had taken more photos, or at least could find them. The whipping cream was so heavy that when I filled half of the cake, both layers were completely parallel. I could have made a little diorama on the one side. The photo shows the cake put together, and with whip cream present. It is before I cleaned it up and dripped the frosting on it. it did not look like a big Hostess thing because I didn’t warm up the frosting enough and instead of just letting it drip, I spread it a bit too eagerly with the spatula.

How did it turn out, in the measurement of body count?  Actually, it was liked!  I think this is about the best cake I’ve ever made.

How did it tastes?  Don’t go cutting the cake in half and shoveling it down your gullet.  This is a very rich cake.  You could do well with a smaller piece.  If you don’t tell anyone, it tastes like a rather decadent, fancy cake.

How ’bout you try this “fake” recipe?  It isn’t really fake, but it is from scratch.  Let me know how you do.   A cake like this was $7.00 a slice downtown, and this cost about $6 a mix, plus $3 for a medium whipping cream.  So, that’s $15.00.   That would buy us two slices of the cake downtown.   Being that we got twelve slices out of the cake, we would have paid $84.00 if we brought all of our friends out.   Wowee…we’re rich!

Stay tuned for next week’s cake!

An old dog is trying to learn a few new tricks, or more appropriately, an old SnackHound.  I am not old, but some days I feel like I am in a rut bigger and stickier than the molasses swamp in Candyland, especially with all the doom and gloom on the tube.  I used to take training module after training class to enhance my Job skills and to keep my mind active.  It has been a long time since I have temped, or donned my Perot approved charcoal gray suit and 1 1/2″ heels, and took my lunch pail into the corporate world.  Lately, I have been thinking about dusting off the old regulation height stacked heeled shoes and trying for a part time job, as it would also get me out there for some more blog fodder.  I need to know exactly what corporate America is snacking on these days, and it may just snag me an exclusive.   I know what they have when they grab lunch out, but what are they stuffing their face with when they work through lunch?

If you have the skills, occasionally a part time job in the corporate or sales arena can be really worthwhile considering the pay per the amount of time.   I have kept up my computer skills.  Okay, I have to admit I can be a bit geeky in that regard, and I mean the word geeky in a very proud manner.     Several years on a board of directors may sound impressive, but it sort of makes me sound overqualified if I am looking for a part time filing job.

I was recently turned on to Learn.com.  There are training and skills assessment modules relevant to various positions, such as customer service, administrative assistant, and retail management.   I chose to give the Customer Service Manager track a whirl.  In the past, I have had a lot of customer service experience, and had management responsibilities, but never had the title or pay scale.

I was surprised that it wasn’t a one shot class, but a series of lessons from everything from grammar to stress management.  It was a comprehensive array of left brained and right brained, technical and practical courses.  Okay, maybe you won’t be sketching or painting, so maybe it is all one side of the noggin after all.  When I saw the list, I thought I was in for a long night.

In school, I couldn’t chew gum or eat in class, so I fully took advantage of the situation.  I heated up an Amy’s Teriyaki wrap.  It was an impulse buy, I must admit.  Because it is organic goodness, I am enticed to believe that the late night snacking aspect will have no negative effects.  Of course, it was a little past its prime as I walked home with it in ninety-three degree weather.   I replaced my keyboard with the old one from the basement just so I could eat and type.  I always had wanted to do that in school.   Of course, I also grabbed some old pink gum out of the drawer just because I could.  Because it was a little ancient, I am too embarrassed to tell you the kind it is, as it probably would be eligible for carbon dating by now.  Let’s just put it this way: The gum was in a desk drawer, and my brother left this desk behind five years ago.  Enough said.

Truth be told, I also grabbed the rest of the PC, not just the keyboard, as the website does not work on anything but IE 6.0 or later.  My IMac and I have been in a pretty exclusive relationship for quite some time, and the PC seemed happy to have my undivided attention.

I took it for granted that every profession requires some form of being eloquent, and right off the bat, a grammar and punctuation assessment began.  Here is a sample question, asking one to pick out the sentence that is correctly punctuated.

That’s correct. This quotation consists of two
complete and separate sentences, so a period
should follow the interjectory material. Also,
the second quote should begin with a capital
letter.

I did pretty well, overall.  As you can see, I earned a check mark.   You can tell I am one of “those people” who got a little too excited about earning a gold star in kindergarten, can’t you? I got a few questions wrong, as I mistook some dust on the screen for a period or a comma.  Oh well. I had a chance to review it and retake the skill test.

I should have taken the math test first, as that is where I was sorely deficient.   One day, I was running through the grocery store trying to get a cake ordered in time for the corporate party.  I would pay for it out of my own money, and then the company would give me petty cash.  The cake would come to $19.98 with tax.  The supervisor would give me an envelope with a $20 bill in it.  I figured they just rounded up, until I saw something in the corner.  It said that I owed them $.02!    I was about to give them my two cents, alright.

The format is pretty straightforward, featuring both educational materials and assessments.  What some of the training reminded me of was the programs I used to use at the temp agencies years back to master or be tested on software programs.  Of course, the material here has a wider scope than office software, but the learn and test format is similar.  What is “value added” is that you can reveal your results to potential employers, and everything you can do to help you find the right job is worth the price tag.  There are some measurable skills that are assessed that can truly help you prove that you know your stuff.  However, there are modules on stress management and such where I think reading comprehension is more what’s measured than the skill.  Many people understand stress management and conflict resolution but it takes time, willingness, and patience to truly cultivate the skill.  Despite that, I am thankful that someone has created a system where one doesn’t have to run around town to test.  I fully plan to finish what I started.

If you have not guessed by now, the only major disappointment is that it is only compatible with Internet Explorer 6.0 and higher.  There are some courses on desktop publishing and web design, areas where Macs excel.  Often, companies require new hires to use Apple computers in their work environment, or one finds that people in those fields gravitate towards them.  It would make a lot of sense for Learn.com to strive for compatibility with Safari or Firefox.  Oh, and the other suggestion is that I think people should get coupons for typical vending machine items so they can recreate the environment of a corporate suite to gear themselves up for their new job.  I think one more mini package of peanut butter crackers and I will be completely acclimated.

I have checked in with the Fridge off and on, but have not reported on the subject in quite a long time. For awhile, I was spreading the word about my Fridge and was encouraging people to leave me notes on it. You don’t need to be at my house to leave me a note. Just go to Resist the Fridge and away you go. You can take the virtual magnets off the convenient lower freezer door and let your imagination run wild.

The last message that I have not mentioned comes from Andrea Decker in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, shown at left. Ah, of course it was written in April, but that shows how up to date I have been on the matter. I am not sure if her message is about my fridge, my closet or my brain!

If you would like to leave me a note on the fridge, I’ll blog about the best ones.

There are Christmas in July sales, so why not Thanksgiving in June?  I am not sure if that will catch on, but I can cross my fingers.  Before you squeeze in to your bathing suit, why not have a really big, gut busting meal?

I have been snickering a little over this historical reenactment of the First Thanksgiving.  While you sit around the BBQ pit in your bikini, eating your turkey, tofurkey, or whatever else you eat, sit back and enjoy the show.   I am proud to present “The First Thanksgiving” from Blame Society Productions (The maker of Chad Vader). Dig in, everybody!

*****
Do you like the atmosphere around here?
Okay, this was more pathetic than funny, but still it would be nice if you would rate me on Humor Blogs!
(You will have my undying appreciation!)

These monolithic bamboo cups are currently for sale on Etsy.   They come to you live from about 45 or more years ago.

My question of the day is:  What makes you a cup?  Well, I would normally call these glasses, because of the taller, more serious shape, but they are not made out of glass.   So, they are cups, right?  Well, I picture a cup as sort of shorter and squattier.    I don’t imagine a tall porcelain pilsner, if there is such a thing, would be called a “cup.”

According to Websters:

cup

–noun

1.a small, open container made of china, glass, metal, etc., usually having a handle and used chiefly as a receptable** from which to drink tea, soup, etc.

Technically, a GLASS can be a cup, but can a cup be a glass?

Let’s see.  Under the definition for GLASS, we find:

4.a tumbler or other comparatively tall, handleless drinking container.

In otherwords, if I called these glasses, even though they are not glass, I would be completely correct as well.

Don’t worry about anyone chopping down bamboo and taking it away from pandas. As I have stated before, these are vintage. The tree might have croaked 50 years ago. Also, do you know how fast bamboo shoots up? It is invasive and you can never get rid of it if you tried.

There are six of these babies…plus a bonus cup (or glass or drinking receptacle) just in case you have a freeloader crash your dinner party. They are priced at $19.99 for the entire set!

Find them right here.  Now that you found them, you just MIGHT want to buy them. They are really that cool.

** Yes, I copied this from Dictionary.com, and that is a typo.  IN the dictionary! 

*****
Do you like the atmosphere around here?
Okay, this was more pathetic than funny, but still it would be nice if you would rate me on Humor Blogs!
(You will have my undying appreciation!)

I once saw an attractive pink gumball machine at a salon, and it turned my head, as it was not the typical worn out steel gray with the noseprints of kids on the glass. As I peered inside, I saw a delightful pyramid of Pink Ribbon Gumballs. They were pure white with a pink Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon on them. Of course, I needed to buy one. I needed to find out if they were bubblegum flavor, or some type of mint like some white gum is. I chewed the first one too fast, and swallowed it by accident, so I needed to invest another quarter.

As far as gumballs go, they are not disgustingly sugary. Disgustingly sugary is defined as one of those rabbits at Easter that have the painted on pastel colors.  Blech.  Rather, these were pleasantly true to what they set out to do.  The better underlying message is that the gumball machines generate donations for the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund.  I am sure that you are not shocked, as you would seldom find anything with pink ribbons on it generating donations for the Tractor Pull Society, The League for the Suppression of Celery, or the Burt Reynolds 70s Moustache Awareness Foundation.  No, it just wouldn’t seem to fit.

You can buy your very own pink gumball machine for $99.00.  Part of the proceeds from the sale go towards WBCA.  You can even buy gumballs to generate your own donation drive for the cause.  On the website it states that if you vend 6 gumballs a day, you will empty the machine twice in a year.   Is that a fact or a challenge?  Somehow I sense that it is not a fact, but the gauntlet has proverbially been smacked down before me.  Okay, smarty pants, let me just tell you that MY gumball machine is going to be a head of schedule and will empty out THREE times a year.

Do you have a business or restaurant and care about breast cancer?  Toddle on over to Pinkribbongumballs.com and get your fix for a good cause.  If you don’t have a high traffic area, maybe you just want to fulfill your dream of having your very own gumball machine to hog for your very self.

By popular complaint demand and reader request, I am republishing my article from November 2008 on Sick Glasses. Remember…YOU asked for it!

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I learned something new today. Did you know that there as such a thing as sick glasses? When your parents used to harp on you to wash your dishes before sitting down for dinner, perhaps they were not concerned about crosscontaminating the food with your 5th grade science project or the nose you just wiped. Perhaps they were more concerned that you did not infect the glasses in any way, or somehow spoil them.

Of course, I am being facetious. Unless your parents’ Obsessive Compulsive Disorder involves making sure no one touches a glass with dirty hands. Actually, I am not trying to make fun of folks with OCD, of which I know several, but that would be the only logical explanation being that a crystal highball or a sippy cup just doesn’t seem to be able to contract disease. They can carry them from wiping your snotty nose touching hands on them, but for them to get sick themselves? Just a carrier only. There are illnesses that can jump species but I have never seen one jump to an inanimate object. Disney Studios, of course, would disagree. Just ask 3/4 of the cast of Beauty and the Beast.

On a serious note, Sick Glass Syndrome is very real.

Q: What is a sick glass?

A: I am glad you asked! A sick glass is typically crystal, but it can also be a cheap juice glass too. Dishwasher detergents and mineral deposits leave a cloudy film. Mineral deposits come form hard water. These detergents and deposits eventually scratch the glass.

There is hope for sick glasses that don’t involve any antibiotics. You can test an area with vinegar, and if you see a little ray of hope shining through, proceed to douse the rest of the glass in vinegar. Many glasses can sparkle like the day they were purchased, cleaned, and placed on the shelf. Be sure to rinse the vinegar off when complete, or your whole cupboard or kitchen is going to smell like salad dressing. On the other hand, if you were HOPING that your kitchen was going to smell like vinegar, you may want to check out the salad dressing recipe from the archives HERE.

Some people advocate warming up a solution of vinegar and water to the same temperature that you would suds them up normally.  You can, but I have found that room temperature works equally well.   This may seem like a lot of work, but it certainly can move the glasses you would normally pitch back into the rotation.  Also, if you have luck for this, look for pretty glasses marked very inexpensively at yard sales.  For five cents or a quarter a glass, you have not much to lose when you gamble on them.

Have you had success reviving glasses back from zombie land?  What has been your most amazing find?

A ton of years ago, there was an episode of The Simpsons, where they pull out a brochure that says:

So You’ve Settled for Branson

Branson may be a colossal joke to some, but I am always surprised what goes on there. Some of the events there seem as big as those that are held in Las Vegas, only with less show girls. Some info I saw put out by the Hilton Promenade at Branson Landing mentioned some different events in the area that I might like to plan for. Truth be told, there are some that *I* wouldn’t plan for, but there are people out there that would.

For me, I would look forward to the meetup for old Packards. However, some of you, by the judging of your reader comments would be more of the crowd that would attend the 10th Annual Clown Jam. I kid you not. It is a real event. A madcap time will be had by all, and attendees will learn magic tricks and how to create and apply makeup. There will be two banquets during the event. Though I never say no to a new food worthy occasion, I just may be the one hiding under my seat. Nope, I am not very fond of clowns. I am less fond of wearing clown makeup. I wonder if I would hyperventilate.

I think I would be better off at the Hilton Branson Convention Center Hotel. There is a Mediterranean style restaurant called Trofi. Their signature dish is their Saganaki. I long have been a fan of the flaming cheese. First, I became interested because of the sheer theatrical value of lighting up the whole restaurant with a non flame retardant dairy product. It certainly made everyone look at your table. When I was a little older, and a little more refined, I admired the smokey flavor and cheesy consistency.

When you are wandering around Branson, looking at the Titanic exhibit, marveling at the natural scenery, or running from clowns, you may want to take a break and try out Trofi.  The thought flitted through my mind that I could use Saganaki to ward off clowns, if it was lit.  Then, I decided I knew better.  I would eat it, as long as the portion was not too big, before the clown got close enough.