TheSnackHound

(Above: An intruder in my midst.)

Last year was a bust for both hay and apples, due to a very early 80 degree day coupled with a late season deep frost. The hay didn’t grow quite tall enough, weeds took over and the apple blossoms did not even phone it in.  The garden won’t be safe to plant with starter plants yet, so we are growing vegetables and herbs indoors. The oregano is sprouting, but who is the intruder in the center cell? I swear I didn’t plant anything other than what was in the oregano seed packet.

We were musing today – wondering what it was like for our friends in the south. Not Florida – but Southern Hemisphere. They could be window gardening, too, albeit for things that they only wanted to keep indoors, as of course, winter is creeping up on them there.  The Rural News from New Zealand discusses “green manure” this time of year. What is green manure? Is it the result of feeding your cows and horses too many green smoothies?

Nope – it is rather planting things like mustard grass in the fall right before and after you harvest your main crop. The plants add nutrients to the soil, and as they die off over the winter and are even cut back, the leaves and foliage acts as a “green manure” that feeds the soil. Nifty? I use my dead lawn to feed the beautiful lawn I might have someday.

The war for cheap pizza is definitely on in my neighborhood. Several national and local establishments are undercutting each other every month, it seems. One drops their price to 10.99, then the guy down the street cuts it by .99. We are hovering in the realm of $5 now, with the price attached to all different stripes of pizza quality.

A new place just opened and they are trying a different tactic with their off the wall combinations (squid pizza, anyone? Hawaiian is so passe’)

If you are feeling rather adventurous and think sprinkling things on top of the pizza, no matter how outrageous, is expected and for amateurs,  you could order pizza hut delivery when roaming New Zealand to try New Zealand’s pride and joy: Hot dog stuffed pizza. How about some mustard drizzle with that? More properly – how about some tomato sauce and mustard to swizzle over the crust?

Would you prefer to wash it down with Burger King’s Bacon Sundae?

With the push to introduce healthier menu offerings, I continue to be amazed by the chocolate covered bacon at my local deli. Perhaps it is all just backlash at gluten free, free range pizza and ice cream.

I shouldn’t be so harsh – pizza has become an international item that is more of a mash-up, or the breaded cousin to the stir fry. Just roll your dough, spread the sauce, and add whatever you have left in the fridge as toppings. When we make a pie, we reveal the cobwebs of our soul, or at least reveal the foods we didn’t care to touch during the week.

So – is your end of the week pizza kale and sun dried tomatoes with a side of goat cheese, or are you a fitness junkie and pile up the pork rinds and bits of ginger snap? I see you reading over the last few sentences and raising your hand – then realizing that its better to admit to the pork rinds than to be accused of being a junk food junkie all week.

I recently ran into a woman at a bakery. She had sparkly Shamballa Bracelets and a necklace on (so she told me.) My brain, as random as the filing system in there is, remembered some cookies I was afraid to eat as a kid. At weddings and Christmas, somehow a cookie with silver or gold or white beads on it was in the mix. I was afraid of eating metal.

See why I thought so? (Above at left, silver edible pearls for a cake. At right, A Shamballa crystal and clay necklace.) Edible pearls in white are a little more palatable looking to me, but after the coin in the cake incident of 1998, and the Chuck E Cheese Token Incident of 1984, I am understandably cautious bout things that sparkle in my mouth.

Cloth napkins in colors matching the wedding theme are typical at nuptials, even though personalized paper napkins are well advertised. I have seen printed varieties usually a but more at cocktail-type wedding receptions. Also, they have appeared at less formal backyard barbecue- type receptions to add a little formality.

If you are renting linens, ordering personalized napkins for everyone could be overkill on the budget, but they could be used sparingly at the cocktail hour for drinks. Some guests may use them and some may pocket them as a memento.

If you have an unlimited budget, use both, but if you are on a budget, using them strategically, as mentioned at cocktail or perhaps dessert hour may stretch the supply. After all, you don’t want 100 of them mopping up a single drink spill.

As far as cost goes, ordering in quantity can bring a price of around .25-.35 per napkin. Compare that to the cost of renting linen napkins and see where you come in.

Happy New Year…in a few hours, of course. Nothing says New Years like heaping on a pile of ginormous and unobtainable diet resolutions. Common sense, the angel on our shoulder, urges us to consider stepping away from the potato chips, half the sugar in the cookie recipe and go for a walk. The devil on the other shoulder tells us not to eat a bag of Poppycock, as that would be too obviously devilish, but instead deceives us by suggesting a quick fix.

One year, eating cabbage soup two meals a day was the “answer.” Alli and other pills languish on the shelves when they flew off a few years ago. Maybe the leakage scared folks away. Then there is HCG, which involves using pregnancy hormones as a weight loss cure. Tapeworms, anyone?

We have all dealt with the battle of the bulge. I don’t have any issues with obesity or weight, but do notice that I have to work to shift a pound instead of maintaining the metabolism and hormones of a 20 year old, where I could just stop drinking soda for a day and I was back to svelte.

Today I am politely trying all of the 42 issues baked by relatives, but tomorrow I am hitting the hiking trail, while contemplated the recipes, snacks and other features for this year’s blog articles. After I recover on the sofa.

“I really love chocolate. If I win the lottery, I’m going to get the key to the Hershey factory.”

“That wouldn’t be profitable.”

“I don’t care. I just think it would be neat to have the key. But why not?”

“If an unknown suddenly walks in and takes over, the stocks would take a dive. Uncertainty and all that stuff.”

“Kill joy.”

Most people dream of opening a Dairy Queen or a bakery to satisfy their sweet tooth, but if they really jones for a perpetual supply of pure cane sugar and stevia, the real dream should not be a “For Sale” sign at a chocolate factory, but to look into a dental practice for sale. It would be a way more lucrative deal in the whole supply chain, and you’d never be sued for the customer’s abuse of your product. It’s true that a group of parents sued Coke because their children’s teeth rotted out from adding Mountain Dew to their bottles as infants.

One small caveat: It’s probably better to buy a dental practice than hire a dentist to work there. Maybe you could go to dental school with your lottery winnings. T